Tag Archives: thinking

Bullying, Classes and Courses, Learning, Mental Health, Mental Hygiene, Personal Growth, Small People, Substitute Teaching, Teaching

Was the Big Bad Wolf Bad?

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Sometimes I do suspect the planets align or karma does, in fact, exist. A recent conversation with an old high school chum ended with her announcing she was going to take her dog for an evening walk He is a bit territorial and was anxious to see if Mr. Fox was trespassing. She thought it might not end well.

This triggered a memory that was quickly followed by a seemingly unrelated quote posted on social media.

The memory was of a fun day substitute teaching “language arts” in a sixth-grade class. The assignment was to group read a book together and discuss it. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the title of the book. I’ve since found several versions based on the three little pigs, but this one was written about the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood. It forced us to re-consider the tale from the wolf’s point of view. He narrated the story from his perspective with a plea for understanding.

We had a very intense and engaged discussion after finishing the book. The kids explored the wolf’s perspective with many admitting there were some things they hadn’t considered before. There were some friendly arguments, a few “hadn’t thought about that,” and 100% participation. (The objective of the activity was to encourage creative thinking and explore alternative viewpoints.)

After discussion, I decided to take a class vote. The question was, “How many of you now feel somewhat sorry for the wolf?” I don’t remember how many kids there were… probably around twenty. But I do remember the results of the vote.

One brave boy raised his hand indicating he thought differently about the wolf after reading the story and discussing it. The rest looked at him with what can best be described as incredulity and disbelief. Before concluding the activity was a failure, let me quickly add that no one attacked him or called him stupid. They understood he simply had a different viewpoint or perspective. They didn’t try to bully him into changing his mind. Another successful lesson.

But why did only one person change his perspective? I think the answer to that lies in this quote.

“The reason so many people misunderstand so many issues is not that these issues are so complex, but that people do not want a factual or analytical explanation that leaves them emotionally unsatisfied. They want villains to hate and heroes to cheer—and they don’t want explanations that fail to give them that.”

Thomas Soweit

Most of those kids simply did not want to give up the villain they had known since that story was read to them when they were little–he IS the big BAD wolf–that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! And I guess that’s okay because at least they had figured out that their classmate who thought differently wasn’t stupid. Some actually admitted they could see things differently but they just couldn’t change their opinion.

If the kids can get it, why do we adults have so much trouble?

Causes and Friends, Communication, Just for Fun, Personal Growth, Small People

How do you color a Rainbow?

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I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to claim I have a new friend. Considering how we met I am still surprised at how much I learned from her. Our friendship started while a number of us were waiting for a table at Geaghan’s Restaurant in Bangor. She happened to sit across from me. I noticed she was writing and drawing in a notebook. It started with some accidental eye contact and elevated to smiles and winks. Nearly everyone else was fumbling with their smartphones. She was creating.

When I was called to my table I waved goodbye. A few minutes after being seated, we were both surprised that she and her family were brought in and seated very close by. But the biggest surprise came a few minutes later. My friend and her Mom came over to my table. She slipped a piece of paper in front of me. Mom apologized for the fact they didn’t have colors to make the rainbow. In third grade lettering, it said at the top, “Enjoy your dinner.”

My enthusiastic thanks were not at all exaggerated. I was truly impressed and appreciative. We chatted long enough for me to learn that she’s in third grade and her favorite subject is science. Although, based on her hesitancy in answering, I suspect the answer might be different on a different day. One more thing to love about third graders is that they don’t get locked into beliefs and biases.

For those who believe in karma or planets aligning, it’s interesting that I have had several accidental encounters with kids lately that have left me happy and encouraged. I stared at my drawing for a long time.

Did my new friend know that I love rainbows because they represent hope? I didn’t get a chance to tell her so I’m hoping she does or maybe finds out somehow. Stranger things have happened.

I didn’t have a notebook, but I did have a business card. So I wrote her a similar message on the back, encouraging her to not only enjoy dinner but to save some room for dessert. I drew a small cat, writing “cat” underneath the drawing in case it wasn’t recognizable. I’ve had kids tell me I do draw a good cat. In a way similar to her presentation, I took it over and slipped it in front of her, evoking a big grin. Her Mom and Dad both thanked me. I’m not sure why, but in a world rife with suspicion they weren’t finding our new friendship creepy!

I kept her drawing in front of me during dinner. The more I looked at it, the more color I saw–not in the drawing itself but in my friend’s dancing eyes and smile. She gave me more than a drawing. She reminded me that there is hope. Kids know how to connect and they know it’s important to do so. It’s natural for them. They also know that sometimes you have to look a little farther and deeper to see the color. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that sometimes you have to make the color. She colored my rainbow with her smile and her dancing eyes and the obvious pleasure it gave her to do something nice for someone. That’s how you color a rainbow.

When she left, I held up her drawing and said that I was going to put it on my fridge when I got home. That seemed to please her. I hope she realizes how much it pleases me–not just the drawing, but her act of unselfish creation for a stranger. It’s such a simple life lesson. Making others happy brings us happiness. Offering others hope in any form brings us hope. If a nine-year-old can create hope and happiness, cannot we who are older do the same?

If we listen and watch, they’ll teach us how to color a rainbow–even if you don’t have crayons.

Big Brains, Books by Walter, Causes and Friends, Learning, Personal Growth, Small People

Life’s Lessons

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I am proud to proclaim I have a new friend. She’s now calling me “Uncle Walter.” We haven’t met in person and we’ve really only communicated through her Mom, but I love the way she thinks.

Let me explain. Anina is, by my count, 17 weeks old. Her Mom, Katrina Hoover Lee, is a writer. We first met when I read her book, From the White House to the Amish. Shortly after Anina was born, I started receiving emails written by Anina. Well, obviously that’s not quite accurate.

Or maybe it is. Mom is an excellent writer. More importantly, she has an amazing ability to “channel” Anina. When I read those emails, it’s easy to forget it’s not actually Anina doing the typing.

I love the way kids think, so I love the way Anina thinks. We could learn a lot by getting into their small heads. They may be little people but they really do have big brains. That’s how my book came about. Thanks to Anina, I’m discovering that even really small people have a lot to offer. I look forward to her emails and love seeing the world through her eyes.

When I look at my new sign I find myself smiling and realizing that some lessons really aren not fun to learn. I also find myself, like Anina, questioning things, hopefully with her childish innocence and curiosity. I’d like to think we are kindred spirits. She is seeing so many things for the very first time. I’m trying to see some things with a fresh set of eyes. She’s a big help with that. It’s fun and helpful to think like a five-month-old.

If you’re interested in what Anina is thinking, visit her Mom’s website. Anina isn’t posting yet, so you’ll need to sign up to receive her emails. There’s a subscribe link right at the top. You can also check out some of the books Mom’s written. (I’m pressing for a future book that’s a collection of Anina’s emails–“Anina’s Wisdom.” ) Tell her Uncle Walter sent you.

Causes and Friends, Learning, Teaching

Mr. Boomsma Learns to Count

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We went to a “sunset picnic” on an Amish Family Farm during our recent vacation to Central Pennsylvania. There was much to see and learn. The food was excellent, and the lemonade was icy cold.

The lemonade was served by ten-year-old Hanna Rose, an engaging young lady notable for her pleasant smile and efficient pouring. Of course, I could not resist engaging her in conversation.

(To understand our conversation, it becomes necessary to disclose that most Amish children attend private Amish schools only through eighth grade. The value of education is high but takes a very different form than the one we English have adopted.)

So I asked Hanna Rose what grade she was in. She finished filling my glass, smiled at me, and said, “I’m going into sixth grade this fall.”

To keep the conversation going, I said, “So you have two more years of school left!?”

(This is not Hanna Rose–photos of the Amish are not encouraged.)

Her smile faded just a little, and she looked a bit troubled. She sat the lemonade pitcher down, her smile brightened, and she held up one hand to count on her fingers. “Six, seven, eight,” she said. “That’s three years.” Her tone was patient and pleasant–I’m sure she considered how to correct me without making me feel bad.

Realizing my math error, I too smiled and replied, “You’re right!” Her smile broadened some.

“I think I should come to your school to learn how to do math better!”

Her smile broke into a grin as she picked up her pitcher to continue serving. I won’t claim that we developed a deep friendship, but we did manage to have several more conversations throughout the evening.

When we left, I wished her well in sixth grade. She replied that she was going to work really hard at learning. I somewhat regret not thanking her for reminding me of some important things.

Simple is good. While that’s something I love about the Amish in general, Hanna Rose shared a concrete example, and she did so graciously. She didn’t say, “Why are you making this so complicated–you’re getting it all wrong!” I later laughed at myself for my foolishness. And then I laughed at “us” who are not Amish because we often love making things harder in teaching. And we love big words.

Thankfully, I didn’t say, “Oh, Hanna Rose. I like how you have used your fingers for math manipulatives.”

The job of teaching should be to make things simple.

Hanna Rose also reminded me of a sign I’d seen a few years ago contrasting Amish Schools with Public Schools. One of the points was that Amish Schools value cooperation and humility above competition and pride. That’s not to say the Amish reject competition and pride–it’s to say that they understand balance. Hanna Rose’s hesitancy to “correct” my error suggests she thought hard about how to do so in a spirit of humility and without alienating me or making me feel bad.

I also later teased her, “I’m not leaving. I’m going to stay here and live with you forever and ever.” Her wide grin and lack of a reply told me she’s heard it before and realized it’s a compliment, not a threat.

And maybe not such a bad idea. I suspect I could learn a lot more from Hanna Rose and her family. Maybe we all could.

Watching “simple” go by at Hanna Rose’s Farm