Category Archives: Causes and Friends

Posts regarding causes–mine and those of some friends.

Meeting Mrs. Miller!

Meeting Mrs. Miller is a story I wrote for the Blog “Amish America” run by Eric Wesner. I’ve been a long-time fan because it’s one of the most credible Amish-related sites on the Internet! I’m honored to have contributed!

For those who are “local,” Mrs. Miller is an Old Order Amish woman who is part of a fairly new Amish Community in the Corinth, Maine area. Stop by and say “Hello!” As I mentioned in the article, when I told her I was promoting her on the Internet, she said, “I’ve heard of that.” I’m not sure she fully appreciates how lucky she is on that point–there are days when I wish I wasn’t so familiar with it.

But then, how would you know about her and her stand if it weren’t for the Internet? Just don’t buy all her bread before I get there, please! She also runs out of homemade butter quickly.

Can I Help with the Peaches?

Actually, there is no direct connection between Kauffman Orchards and B… and if this photo looks a little blurry, understand it was taken from a moving horse and buggy!

During a recent visit to Central Pennsylvania, I decided to revisit one young friend (“B”) I’d talked to last summer. She told me then she had just decided to stay with the Amish Faith and shared some of her thoughts and reasons. I was quite literally “blown away” by her honesty and thinking. We even discussed some of the difficulties she anticipated. When the conversation ended, she said how wonderful it was that we had learned from each other.

I didn’t see her working at the farmstand this year, but I mentioned her to the older Amish gentleman who collected for my purchases. He smiled some, jerked a thumb over this shoulder, and said, “She’s in the back peeling peaches. You should go talk to her.”

I felt oddly honored that I was allowed through the “employees only” door. I found her making short work of peeling and cutting up a huge basket of peaches.

I was not disappointed. She remembered me and was only too happy to share some updates. We actually had quite a discussion about “social media.” She has a phone because, in addition to working at her family’s farm stand, she has started her own business. She explained how she uses the phone and how she doesn’t. Prior to baptism and joining, she used the phone freely, but she also saw how using the phone impacted her. I agreed with her and found myself a bit jealous of her achievement. In so many words, we agreed that it’s important to think about how things impact us.

It wouldn’t be accurate to say she’s a lucky girl because I’m not sure luck is involved. She is taking full responsibility for her choices and the consequences of them. She’s a critical thinker–I noticed that last year. She made the point then that choosing to remain Amish would not be based on the things she is giving up. She is staying Amish for what she will gain.

I’ve noticed that conversations about the Amish typically drift to what they don’t have or accept. “They don’t have electricity.” {That’s only partially true. ) “They don’t drive cars; they have to use horses and buggies.” (Again a partial truth.) We seem to make it sound like being Amish is all about giving things up and following rules.

B doesn’t see it that way. She is not a victim of being Amish. She chooses not to sit at home and play computer games on her phone. She is choosing her way of life. We talked a lot about who we are and who we will become, and how life is a journey and process. She also knows what she doesn’t know.

Gellasenheit! (Ironically, when I used that word with her last year, she didn’t know the meaning. She found it interesting and amusing that she was learning an Amish way of thinking from an Englischer.

B continues to work at the family farmstand. Since last year she’s also started her own successful business. She somewhat shyly shared that she’s “in a relationship.” I teased, “So next year you’ll be married and I won’t find you here.” Her reply was straight to the point, “Oh, I doubt that!” Later, I wished I’d clarified. She might have meant she’d probably be married but still at the family farm stand. One thing for sure, she’ll have made her decisions thoughtfully.

I didn’t ask, but if I were to guess she’s in her late teens. Most Amish join the church between the ages of 18 and 21.

In the Amish world, she is NOT an exception. I could share other stories and examples. She finished the peaches while we talked. I can handle that sort of multitasking. I am challenged to talk with someone who is also typing on their smartphone.

I am proud, honored, and blessed to know her.

Thanks to My Sort of Dad(s)…

I’ve not traditionally posted anything on Fathers’ Day, but I’m making an exception this year. Blame it on my age, but of late, I’ve been reflecting on my experiences with my Dad and the years immediately following his death when I was seven.

I think he’d like to know about the long list of guys who did their best to help fill the void. I’m certainly not going to try to name them all. Some were relatives. Many were his friends. Two were neighbors. They didn’t try to be my Dad; they just became my friend.

One helped me build a birdhouse; I think it weighed fifty pounds when we were finished adding ideas and amenities. A neighbor made me his companion when he split wood and gardened. The guy who ran the gas station and bait shop in town offered fishing advice and occasionally provided free tackle.

Some of those men remained a friend for years. They’re all gone now. Dad would have celebrated his ninety-eighth birthday this year. Today I miss them. Actually, I miss them a little every day. I’ve always said of my Dad that he’s with me and haunts me in ways that are positive beyond belief. I considered it a huge compliment when his friends would remark, “You’re just like your Dad.”

Was it providential that we had the same names? In later years, some of those men actually thought I was my Dad. If we’re in my hometown I can show you my name on the WW II honor roll.

I do occasionally wonder what he’d think about how complicated life’s become. But if I’m “just like” him, I think I know.

He’d miss the connections we had nearly seventy years ago. He’d miss the opportunities we had to be a caring friend to others, especially those much younger. He’d recognize the importance of friends but balance it with independence and resilience.

If you’d like to read a short story about how he taught me that, read “Thanks, Dad!” It’s the story of one of my best days with him.

Walter Boomsma, Sr.

1926-1954

Memorial Day, Where Are You?

Something is missing. Since I often say, “Nothing is ever lost as long as it’s remembered,” I should perhaps explain. What seems to be missing or lost this year are the formal opportunities to remember and honor those who (if we’re going to be precise) died in the service to our country, at least according to some sources.

Like so many things, Memorial Day has “evolved.” Thanks to technology, it’s not too difficult to trace the official history, but the subtle history can be a bit more elusive. As originally conceived (Decoration Day) in 1868, it was meant to be for honoring and mourning the U.S. military personnel who died while serving in the military.

By the time of my earliest recollections, it seemed to have “morphed” into a day for honoring and mourning military personnel who died, not necessarily while serving in the military. Perhaps because of the day’s roots as “Decoration Day,” the focus seemed to be maintaining the graves of those who served–those who died in service and those who died since serving. We spent, literally, hours improving grave sites, planting flowers, and placing flags. Parades often ended in cemeteries. in a sense, we “decorated” graves with our presence.

Thanks in part to social media, some are trying to restore the original meaning. Perhaps with this blog post, I have joined that informal group. But when I read the posts and comments, I disagree with many.

One that makes sense but is also troubling points out that today is for those who have died and instructs us “not to thank a living veteran, today is about honoring those who died in service to our country.” My grandfather and dad would be left out based on that technicality. Sorry, but that doesn’t feel right. Both were proud veterans, and both paid a price by serving.

Many died while serving, more are dying since serving, and many are currently serving. Is there an occasion when we should NOT be grateful to those who have served and those who are serving?

Another “suggestion” is that we “remember that Memorial Day isn’t about picnics and having fun.” My earliest recollections are of a day that was both somber and fun. Those emotions are not opposites.

And, perhaps more importantly, if we stick to the original definition of who we honor, I think they would be pleased to know we are having fun. They died so we could. Having fun honors them.

I find it difficult to criticize anyone who celebrates the meaning of this day in some way. Distance means I can no longer visit my father’s and grandfather’s resting place and make sure they “look right” for this day. I may not find a parade to watch this year. But I will hang out the flag tomorrow and spend some time in contemplation and remembrance.

And I will have some fun, if only because I can. You should too!

The “decorated” graves of Walter Boomsma, Sr. (served in WWII) and his father Jan Boomsma (served in WWI). Jan served in the Australian Expeditionary Force, thus two flags.

Twain on Training

I couldn’t resist the alliteration, even though this is about education (which many think is different from training).

“Covid Crazy” isn’t on the DSM yet (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), but I won’t be surprised when it appears. I wish I could remember who said, “We got used to staying home, and it’s like nobody wants to crawl out from under the blankets.” Most of us have days when that sounds good–the pandemic seems to have increased the trend geometrically. It will be fifty years before we even begin to understand the impact of the pandemic and our collective response to it, including how it impacted our happiness and enjoyment.

He’d be tarred, feathered, and lynched in today’s world, but my college psych professor was memorable for saying, “If rape is inevitable, you might as well enjoy it.” It is a horrible statement, but he was trying to make the point that we should approach things we have to do with an upbeat attitude. There’s probably a better example, but it was memorable. (I also remember him biting an apple and throwing it at the class.)

I taught a course years ago that aimed at increasing job satisfaction. Many people became so focused on hating work they were missing opportunities. It was/is a question of focus. At the time, I coined the phrase “ritualistic complaining.” One of the ideas behind the course was to get out of the habit of focusing on the negatives.

We’ve scratched on the surface of its effect on education, but education has had some systemic issues for at least fifty years.

I am often disappointed with how many students attend educational events with a “let’s get it over with” attitude. I’ve always believed part of my job is to make the experience enjoyable and meaningful, even for those who came with a “let’s get it over with” attitude.

Most people enjoy learning. A lot of education takes the joy out of learning. It’s also human nature to want to learn. If we didn’t, we’d still be crawling around on our hands and knees. There are a lot of Facebook users who never attended a class, but they are adept at using it. Some of those same people complain that they don’t get good training at work.

Mark Twain quit school when he was 11. He later said things like, “Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” Another favorite is, “Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.” The longer I’m in the education business, the more apparent it becomes that the model could stand some improvement. He also said, “One can be both entertained and educated and not know the difference.”

(I’ve not vetted these quotes, but they sound like something he’d say.)

A proverb (not attributed to Mark Twain) suggests, “Ignorance is bliss.” It has some value as a coping mechanism. We can avoid unpleasantness if we hide under the covers and remain ignorant. Perhaps it would be more accurate to suggest we can avoid thinking about things we find unpleasant. It doesn’t change the things we are avoiding, but it does change our feelings about them. A non-clinical term for it is “sticking our heads in the sand.” If you’d like to go clinical, Google the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

I occasionally acknowledge I’m prone to being a crusader. I don’t think I have a messiah complex. I definitely have no desire to become a martyr; apparently, that often involves dying. But I just might become an education reformer.

“If ignorance is bliss, why isn’t the world happier?”

Mark Twain