Category Archives: Causes and Friends

Posts regarding causes–mine and those of some friends.

A couple of resources

I did share this on Mr. Boomsma’s Facebook Page and have had some good feedback… “sheltering in place” (or whatever we call it) is particularly hard on teens. Parents may find this site helpful!

I have always been a fan of the JED Foundation… you’ll find links elsewhere on the site. They’ve recently announced a new project based on the truth that

“Love is louder than the distance between us.”

While you’re washing…

I’m chuckling a bit at the number of posts and emails that include the reminder to “wash your hands.” Since it’s likely that most folks are remembering that task, I have a different reminder for you. While washing your hands, consider using the same 20 seconds to “wash” your head and heart.

While some may question whether or not we are overestimating the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, I’m concerned that we are underestimating the mental and emotional impact. Therefore, I’m recommending we engage in some “mental and emotional hygiene” to accompany the physical.

This is truly a catastrophic event with a lot of uncertainty. What makes it different than most is that it’s gone on for a while now and is very likely to continue. It is very easy to get focused on the “problem” and the uncertainties. Before we know it, we find ourselves feeling anxious and perhaps depressed.

We may not be able to solve the problem or correct all the uncertainties but we can change how we are thinking about them. When we get caught in the wrong focus we are no longer problem-solving, we are just chewing on the problem. (Guy Winch calls this “ruminating”–more about that later.)

Since it’s easy to end up there, I’m suggesting we let our physical hygiene practice remind us to do some emotional hygiene. While washing our hands, let’s remember to do a quick check of our state of mind. Over the past few days, I’ve found it necessary to do just that! During those 20 seconds, we can remind ourselves that we may need to boost our own self-esteem and remind ourselves that humans have come through many catastrophes, trials, and tribulations. We’ll get through this.

This is sometimes achieved through “centering” — a technique for remaining grounded, calm and relaxed in the face of stress. We may not be able to control the world around us but we can manage ourselves. While most people wouldn’t associate handwashing with centering, some simple techniques include deep breathing, meditation, music, and distraction. Different things work for different people, so you may choose to experiment. At a minimum, every time you wash up, remember to lighten up. Take a few deep breaths and look at the world differently.


Five Ways to Improve Your Emotional Health is an excellent article in Psychology Today by Guy Winch. It’s a quick read and doesn’t include any clinical mumbo jumbo. It also includes a link to his TED Talk which I highly recommend! There’s also a link to it on the of this website.

Cows, Corn, and Calm

As I rounded the corner on the winding country road, I was greeted by a small herd of cows standing in the way, looking at me with big eyes. Here I was traveling through rural Ohio, headed to a consulting assignment dressed in a suit and tie. But having been raised in the country I knew you don’t just drive around bovines standing on the pavement looking both guilty and smug.

It wasn’t disappointing that the closest farmhouse belonged to an Amish Family. When I announced the escape, the farmer sighed and quickly clarified “They’re not mine—they belong to a neighbor down the road.” Since he was grabbing his hat as he spoke it was apparent I wasn’t being dismissed. “I’ll give you a hand,” I offered. “I’ve rounded up escaped livestock before.”

On the way to the scene of the crime, he chatted amiably. “You know,” he said, “not all of us Amish are great farmers. My neighbor doesn’t keep his fences mended and doesn’t pay much attention to a lot of things.” I noticed his tone wasn’t critical or angry—it was more just a statement of fact. “This happens a lot… we’re used to it… lots of people don’t realize the Amish are just as human as everyone else.”

We made short order of returning the wayward critters to their pasture and rigged a temporary fix to the broken fence. I noticed everything was actually calm and relaxed in a matter-of-fact way. When he thanked me, it wasn’t profuse but it was sincere.

That was over thirty years ago. I’m sorry I can’t remember his name but in retrospect, by his very few words and example, he taught me a deep appreciation of the Amish mindset. It’s hard to describe it in a few sentences, but “we’re sorta used to it” is a start. Some things just are. You expect the neighbor’s cows to break through a weak fence. You also expect another “neighbor” (even though he’s not Amish and is dressed in a suit) to help.

Gelassenheit is a German word often used to describe that spirit of humility, modesty, and informality that lies at the heart of the Amish way of life. It’s a calm acceptance of the world as it is and not as we think it should be. It is not an easy concept to understand and it is even more difficult to adopt and practice. It sounds fatalistic but for the Amish, it’s “God’s will be done.”

During a recent visit to a favorite Amish owned and operated bookstore in Pennsylvania—the Gordonville Bookstore, I opted to pay cash, even though it appeared credit cards would be accepted. Not only did I decide to pay cash, I decided to find the exact change. This proved a challenge as I dug through pockets and the Mrs. scrounged around in the bottom of her handbag… “We need another dime… now a penny…” The Amish girl waiting on us showed no impatience. When we found the last penny and I handed it to her, I looked heavenward and shouted, “It was meant to be!” This put our Amish cashier into a fit of laughter! I’d thought about shouting “Gelassenheit!” but didn’t want to mispronounce or misuse it. Given her reaction to “It was meant to be,” I suspect I’d have been on safe ground.

After all, “we’re just as human as everyone else.” A few days later, we visited an Amish owned and operated dry goods store—Fisher’s Housewares and Fabrics. Other than the hissing of the propane lanterns, it’s one of the quietest (and calmest) stores around. It was actually quite busy—mostly Amish shoppers, mothers with young children and preteens looking at fabric to make their own clothes. No one was yelling at the clerks because they couldn’t find things. No clerks were following people around offering to help, either. They expect customers will ask if they need help. Customers expect clerks will help if asked. It’s just the way it is and should be.

A small cluster of us was standing in line—actually it was a bit of a semicircle so we were all facing each other—waiting to pay for our purchases. Suddenly, from directly behind me came the loud strain of a rather lively country-western song. (I never did figure out where it came from.) Every Amish eye in that semicircle seemed to look at me. I instinctively cried, “I didn’t do it!” This evoked a few smiles, especially from the children.

It was a catchy tune and since some of the kids were watching I found myself tempted to engage in some exaggerated soft shoe until I remembered that dancing is verboten among the Amish. But I noticed one of the older children was looking at me with dancing eyes. Her expression seemed to say, “I know you’re tempted. I am too. We’re all human.” I’m proud to report that I might have swayed a bit but I didn’t yield to the temptation and neither did she.

We’re regular visitors to “Amish Country” and we accurately can be labeled “tourists.” But we try not to think and act like tourists. We think of ourselves as guests among some very special people and we hope they enjoy our visit. We certainly do enjoy it but we also always learn.  I’ve joked that our visits mostly involve “Cows, Corn, and Calm” with a big emphasis on calm.

I’m certain I’ll never fully understand “Gelassenheit” but I’m trying because I see how it affects me. When I find myself behind a slow traveling horse-drawn buggy I’m not so quick to get upset. We’re going the same way. I almost hate to pass when it’s safe. But the car behind me, clearly annoyed and frustrated, is tailgating and making it apparent that in the driver’s mind, this is not the way it’s supposed to be. I think perhaps it is—particularly if there’s a young Amish child leaning out the back of the buggy.

When I’m behind a buggy I often think of my cow-herding Amish friend. Some things you just take in stride because they simply are—they are not “bad” or “good” in and of themselves. Gelassenheit. Stay calm, look at the cows and corn. We’re all just human and we really are all headed in the same direction.

THink before you click!

I posted this on Facebook a while ago, but I think it bears repeating. It was a tip I posted by a respected law enforcement agency warning people to be extremely careful about “sharing” requests to help find missing children. There have been cases where these requests were created by someone looking for a child who wasn’t actually missing but the individual was seeking information about the child for questionable reasons. Those reasons range from custody battles and a parent hiding a child from an abusive parent to sex trafficking.

No doubt some are legitimate but is it worth the risk? When a missing child is reported, law enforcement uses many resources including social media. Personally, my policy is to only share posts about missing children made by verifiable law enforcement agencies. It’s NOT worth the risk.

I’ve expanded the original Facebook post and included it on my website because this is important. Most people are caring and want to be helpful and that means sometimes on social media we click without much thought. Good intentions can have tragic consequences.

This might also be a good reminder to talk with any children who have social media accounts about the dangers and hazards. If they see a missing puppy post last seen in their neighborhood, will they go looking for it? I hope not because I’m not sure who posted it and why.

Some will object to living in fear but it’s not fear; it’s caution and common sense. I doubt that most parents would teach their children to try to beat the yellow light when crossing the street. We teach them to look both ways even when the light is green, right? This is no different. I queried a second-grader at school about fire safety recently. She had no trouble remembering (and demonstrating!) “Stop, Drop, Roll.” Let’s teach them to to “Stop! Think!”

If you need some help with that conversation there are some great resources on the Internet and schools can often be helpful. One personal favorite site is Netsmartz–all kinds of short videos and resources there for different aged kids teaching how to be smart on the Internet.

Since this post will also show up on Mr. Boomsma’s Facebook Page… do think, but please click and share it. You just might save a child in the process.

Getting the Spirit

If you haven’t heard, I’ve been selected to receive the Abbot Spirit of America Award this year. While I truly believe “the work is the reward,” it will be an honor to receive this recognition. I’d love to share that recognition with friends and Grangers who’ve made the work possible. Join us on November 15, at 7 PM for a celebration of volunteerism and the Spirit of America.