Category Archives: Just for Fun

Honest and reader friendly, “just for fun.”

Just for Fun, Personal Growth, Simple Living

Unless You’re the Worm

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I recently joked with someone that part of the aging process is figuring out that some things aren’t worth much care or worry. In more traditional terms, your perspective changes. Or at least it can. There are choices and decisions involved. It may be time to make them more consciously. It’s a big opportunity that’s easily overlooked.

stick figure fishing

A friend drove home the reality of perspectives by noting, “Fishing is relaxing unless you are a worm.” It’s more than a good quote.

We don’t get to choose whether we’re the worm or the fisherperson. There are realities that can’t be ignored. But let’s not miss the opportunity of simplicity. If you want to be more relaxed, going fishing isn’t a good choice if you’re a worm.

I’ll mix my metaphors to point out that I’ve previously written you can’t become a butterfly unless you’re willing to give up being a caterpillar. That’s also more than a great quote.

A few years ago, I was gifted a kids’ book after meeting the author. Unfortunately, I gave it to the school’s library and no longer have it[i]. ”My Magic Glasses” teaches kids emotional control as the heroine has a pair of magic glasses. When she puts them on, she sees different things and sees things differently. She chooses to put them on to help her make choices. The book is pure genius.

No matter what I’m wearing for glasses, my lawn is currently looking unkept. I’d like to attribute it to “No Mow May,” but that’s less than honest. Ultimately, my lawn’s appearance is the result of some decisions I made (or didn’t make). I could offer many reasonable explanations or excuses, but there’s an overriding question of “Why should I?”

“Do it yourself” is a choice we make with at least two assumptions. One involves enjoyment and relaxation.  “I like being outside and doing yardwork.” The other is that we tend to think of ourselves as cheap and convenient labor. We don’t do a cost/benefit analysis. (Unless, like me, you occasionally enjoy overthinking things.) We’re approaching life through rationalization — something fundamentally different from assertive decision-making.

Magic glasses help us answer the simple question: “Why am I doing this?” They help us distinguish between things that need our attention and things that merely demand it. Some days, the lawn needs mowing. Other days, the lawn can wait while we go fishing—assuming, of course, that we’re not the worm.

[i] Gray, V. B. (2012). My Magic glasses. Balboa Press. Digital copies are available from Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

Just for Fun, Maine Life, Personal Growth, Simple Living

An End Is a Beginning

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A good friend surprised me yesterday by announcing he would be retiring soon. Since it was a surprise, I couldn’t resist probing why. His answer was “I have things I want to do.” I felt reassured that he was on a good track because he was focused on the beginning.

I’m a self-proclaimed expert on the subject of retirement, having “retired” quite a few times. The word itself has an interesting etymology, tracing back to Middle French and Latin, meaning “to draw back” or “to withdraw.”

When I retired from practicing and teaching real estate, I remember well the moment I inactivated my broker’s license. When I clicked the submit button, not much happened. The heavens didn’t open. There was no clap of thunder or bolt of lightning. I’d made a simple life change — an end and a beginning.

On that same day, I left for Bangor. I stopped at the mailbox to pick up a big envelope of thank-you notes from some third-graders I’d recently spent time with. They weren’t interested in real estate. I also stopped to visit with a 94-year-old fellow in hospice. We didn’t discuss real estate. We had a great visit, and I enjoyed his smile.

As the day progressed, I seemed to have one positive experience after another. I had some canning jars to drop off at my Amish friend’s farm stand. It was another happy visit. I usually bring books for her sons, and their enthusiasm for them is both rewarding and encouraging. We don’t discuss real estate.

I know that our “worldview” tends to influence what we see and how we interpret it, but I had to admit that a lot of good stuff seemed to be coming my way on this both eventful and uneventful day. We can attribute it to Karma, fate, or the planets being aligned, but my last stop on the way home was the grocery store for a gallon of milk. When the fellow ahead of me was given his amount due, he jerked a thumb my way and said, “I want to pay for his milk.”

A day that started with an ending included lots of new beginnings. Or maybe just one. I was seeing the world a little differently. My good friend and colleague, Jack Falvey, kept telling me to stop using the word “retirement.” Jack’s wisdom was that I was actually repotting and would be growing in a different place.

I saw Jack’s truth at the mailbox, in a hospice facility, on an Amish farm, and in the local grocery store.

I may no longer be an official real estate broker, but new beginnings are more important than endings. We have a lot of control over how we see ourselves and the world. I’m just going to thrive, grow, laugh, and enjoy in different places. I didn’t retire. I repotted. I’ll bet I do it again.

Just for Fun, Maine Life, Personal Growth

When Things Go Wrong

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interior of car cabin in daylight
Photo by Erik Mclean on Pexels.com

For those who don’t know, a turkey that was either dumb or destructive flew into the front of my truck, damaging the grill. (One of the best jokes was about having grilled turkey.) Shortly thereafter, my check engine light came on.

My friend Mary was suggesting some “do-it-yourself” repairs. When I noted the glowing light was a complication, she responded that it was in line with neuroplasticity. (Neuroplasticity is the brain’s amazing ability to change, reorganize, and adapt its structure and function throughout life in response to new experiences, learning, or injuries.) We do have some interesting dialogues.

She’s correct. The check engine light may be focused on the memory. The truck’s simply saying, “Ow! I got hit, and it hurt!”

Some quick research indicates that without an OBD scanner, the best way to reset the check engine light is to disconnect the battery for 20-30 minutes. We might call that electroshock therapy, now called electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), and still used today, with a claimed 60% to 80% success rate with people. (I’m not sure what the rate is with cars.

It also sounds a bit like Windows Software. When things stop working, simply turn it off and back on. It’s interesting that this hard reset also has a 60% to 80% success rate of fixing minor glitches, performance lags, and system unresponsiveness.

We might be on to something. We are already thinking of AI programs as if they were people. “I’ll ask Claude! (ClaudeGPT).” To what extent are people (at least in some respects) like AI programs?

A “hard reset” could change the way we’re thinking. Problem-solving could be just that simple.

Just for Fun, Simple Living

Beyond Flowers and Breakfast in Bed

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photo tulips and love letter on glass table
Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

A recent social media post in anticipation of Mother’s Day showed a husband interrupting his wife while doing dishes. He told her she shouldn’t be doing them since it was Mother’s Day. She glowed. After a short pause, he added, “Just leave them until tomorrow.”

I’m among the many who enjoyed a good laugh.

I also found it ironic that I’m about to release my next book, Memorials, Monuments, and Memories. It includes a thanks to my Dad and some “sort of” Dads. The release was aimed at Memorial Day, not Mother’s Day.

But here we are, faced with a holiday meant to celebrate mothers. It should mean more than flowers and a day off from doing dishes. And it should apply to “sort of” Moms.

Wikipedia explains that Mother’s Day is an annual holiday celebrated in many parts of the world to honor mothers, maternal bonds, and mothers’ influence in society. In the United States, it is observed on the second Sunday in May and typically involves giving gifts, cards, flowers, and spending time with family to show appreciation.

Mother’s Day was established in 1908 by Anna Jarvis to honor her deceased mother. The common traditions (brunch, breakfast in bed, giving red or white carnations, and spending time with family) are a challenge for those whose mothers are not around. And what about the instances where, for assorted reasons, fathers are attempting to fulfill the role?

We could watch the 1983 movie “Mr. Mom” as an annual tradition. After he’s suddenly laid off, a husband switches roles with his wife. She returns to the workforce, and he becomes a stay-at-home dad, and he must take care of three young children, a job he has no clue how to do. It’s a funny movie. Since it was produced over forty years ago, there might be an interesting discussion about how parenting roles have changed over four decades. According to at least one study, the number of single fathers has doubled.

I’m not advocating breakfast in bed for single fathers. On a more serious note, I am suggesting we go a little deeper on Mother’s Day to celebrate the role of mothers and motherhood in our lives. Let’s not simply appreciate a person, but also their contribution.

Thanks, Mom, for who you are as well as what you do.