I recently joked with someone that part of the aging process is figuring out that some things aren’t worth much care or worry. In more traditional terms, your perspective changes. Or at least it can. There are choices and decisions involved. It may be time to make them more consciously. It’s a big opportunity that’s easily overlooked.
A friend drove home the reality of perspectives by noting, “Fishing is relaxing unless you are a worm.” It’s more than a good quote.
We don’t get to choose whether we’re the worm or the fisherperson. There are realities that can’t be ignored. But let’s not miss the opportunity of simplicity. If you want to be more relaxed, going fishing isn’t a good choice if you’re a worm.
I’ll mix my metaphors to point out that I’ve previously written you can’t become a butterfly unless you’re willing to give up being a caterpillar. That’s also more than a great quote.
A few years ago, I was gifted a kids’ book after meeting the author. Unfortunately, I gave it to the school’s library and no longer have it[i]. ”My Magic Glasses” teaches kids emotional control as the heroine has a pair of magic glasses. When she puts them on, she sees different things and sees things differently. She chooses to put them on to help her make choices. The book is pure genius.
No matter what I’m wearing for glasses, my lawn is currently looking unkept. I’d like to attribute it to “No Mow May,” but that’s less than honest. Ultimately, my lawn’s appearance is the result of some decisions I made (or didn’t make). I could offer many reasonable explanations or excuses, but there’s an overriding question of “Why should I?”
“Do it yourself” is a choice we make with at least two assumptions. One involves enjoyment and relaxation. “I like being outside and doing yardwork.” The other is that we tend to think of ourselves as cheap and convenient labor. We don’t do a cost/benefit analysis. (Unless, like me, you occasionally enjoy overthinking things.) We’re approaching life through rationalization — something fundamentally different from assertive decision-making.
Magic glasses help us answer the simple question: “Why am I doing this?” They help us distinguish between things that need our attention and things that merely demand it. Some days, the lawn needs mowing. Other days, the lawn can wait while we go fishing—assuming, of course, that we’re not the worm.
[i] Gray, V. B. (2012). My Magic glasses. Balboa Press. Digital copies are available from Barnes & Noble and Amazon.