Something is missing. Since I often say, “Nothing is ever lost as long as it’s remembered,” I should perhaps explain. What seems to be missing or lost this year are the formal opportunities to remember and honor those who (if we’re going to be precise) died in the service to our country, at least according to some sources.

Like so many things, Memorial Day has “evolved.” Thanks to technology, it’s not too difficult to trace the official history, but the subtle history can be a bit more elusive. As originally conceived (Decoration Day) in 1868, it was meant to be for honoring and mourning the U.S. military personnel who died while serving in the military.

By the time of my earliest recollections, it seemed to have “morphed” into a day for honoring and mourning military personnel who died, not necessarily while serving in the military. Perhaps because of the day’s roots as “Decoration Day,” the focus seemed to be maintaining the graves of those who served–those who died in service and those who died since serving. We spent, literally, hours improving grave sites, planting flowers, and placing flags. Parades often ended in cemeteries. in a sense, we “decorated” graves with our presence.

Thanks in part to social media, some are trying to restore the original meaning. Perhaps with this blog post, I have joined that informal group. But when I read the posts and comments, I disagree with many.

One that makes sense but is also troubling points out that today is for those who have died and instructs us “not to thank a living veteran, today is about honoring those who died in service to our country.” My grandfather and dad would be left out based on that technicality. Sorry, but that doesn’t feel right. Both were proud veterans, and both paid a price by serving.

Many died while serving, more are dying since serving, and many are currently serving. Is there an occasion when we should NOT be grateful to those who have served and those who are serving?

Another “suggestion” is that we “remember that Memorial Day isn’t about picnics and having fun.” My earliest recollections are of a day that was both somber and fun. Those emotions are not opposites.

And, perhaps more importantly, if we stick to the original definition of who we honor, I think they would be pleased to know we are having fun. They died so we could. Having fun honors them.

I find it difficult to criticize anyone who celebrates the meaning of this day in some way. Distance means I can no longer visit my father’s and grandfather’s resting place and make sure they “look right” for this day. I may not find a parade to watch this year. But I will hang out the flag tomorrow and spend some time in contemplation and remembrance.

And I will have some fun, if only because I can. You should too!

The “decorated” graves of Walter Boomsma, Sr. (served in WWII) and his father Jan Boomsma (served in WWI). Jan served in the Australian Expeditionary Force, thus two flags.