Tag Archives: thinking

Who Do I Trust?

January 29, 2025 Walter 2 Comments

(Since I know a few grammar preservationists, I’ll acknowledge that “Whom do I trust?” might be more grammatically correct. My weak excuse is my grammar checker is allowing it, and it will sound more nearly correct to most.) I will also invoke the wisdom of my much-admired English Teacher, Mr. Russo. “It’s important to learn the rules of grammar so you know when to break them in the interest of communicating.”

If you’re tired of hearing about scams, I get it. I am, too. But you might find this story interesting because of the coincidences and how good the attempt is! The perp gets an “A” for effort.

I have a personal Capital One credit card account. One thing I appreciate about it is that Capital One does an excellent job of spotting questionable transactions. I made a transaction last Saturday that was legitimate but a bit weird (because I split a dinner check, it looked like I had given a 300% tip). I received an email and text message from Capital One asking me if I did make it. The system worked. Quite well, actually.

Today I received another Fraud Alert that looked like it came from Capital One. At first, I thought it was related. The first clue that something was wrong is that it was addressed to me as the webmaster of the Maine State Grange Website. As far as I know, MSG doesn’t have an account, and if it did, I wouldn’t be the contact. But the appearance of the email was almost identical to the one I’d received questioning the huge tip. So, in one respect, it “made sense.”

But in some others, it didn’t. The email address it came from didn’t look right. The links to click didn’t look right. The button to click to sign into my account was huge and bright green. It lacks specifics. (The previous legitimate email included the amounts.) I could go on. The fact the emails arrived close together was sheer coincidence.

There’s been some interesting dialog about the lack of trust we are learning to live with, even though trust is an integral part of our humanity. It’s not limited to financial matters, although scams and phishing attempts are growing geometrically and increasingly sophisticated. What is happening to our society? Yes, it’s an interesting consideration.

But here’s a more important one. We don’t have to live in fear of being scammed.

When I learned to drive (communicate with) oxen this summer, the instructor reminded us that it’s crucial the oxen learn you aren’t trying to kill them. It’s a funny way of understanding that survival instincts are important, and not just for bovines. They are justifiably cautious creatures. We’re teaching them to manage their instincts.

Living in a complex and risk-filled society doesn’t mean we have to live in fear. We do have to be disciplined and learn to trust ourselves when attempts are made. Caution is not fear; it’s brilliant. Caution helps us manage our instincts. Human creatures should be good at it.

When I got that email, I admit, I was tempted to see where this little scam was going. I’m somewhat instinctively curious. Curiosity killed the cat, according to one saying. I suppressed my curiosity and instead, I reported it to Capital One. And now you know about it too. That knowledge should help you trust yourself.

Just for Fun, Personal Growth

Letters and More Letters

December 2, 2024 Walter Leave a comment

by Walter Boomsma, H.B., G.P.A.

The beginning of the day is always interesting. One of my tasks today involved an article submitted by a writer who added an acronym after her name. I had no idea what it stood for. As the saying goes, “Curiosity killed the cat.” So, I googled the acronym LCN.

According to the results, she might be a member of the Lamborghini Club Nederland, although I doubt it. La Cosa Nostra was reasonably close to the top of the list. I had 29 choices. I think I figured it out. I decided to write about the experience, so I wouldn’t feel like I had wasted time. Let’s think about acronyms.

As I roam around academic circles, signature lines are often replete with acronyms. Of course, everyone knows what B.S. is, but not all realize that P.H.D. could stand for the fact that the B.S. is “Piled Higher and Deeper.”

Many know that I spent many years working with Arthur Gary in real estate education. Arthur always had a long list of accreditations after his name on the materials he produced. (They didn’t fit on a business card.) A student once jokingly asked him if he knew what they all stood for. Given Arthur’s incredible memory, I was not surprised when he rattled them off alphabetically. I just kept it simple. What mattered to me was that Arthur was a P.A.G. (Pretty Amazing Guy).

I recently received an email from an academic that was genuinely mind-boggling. Her email signature included a lengthy paragraph of acronyms. That paragraph was longer than the email. I can’t say that I was particularly impressed by either. However, I did wonder if she was a P.S. (Professional Student).

Of course, I’m having fun with this and probably should apologize to those who are rightfully proud of their accomplishments. But our accomplishments may not be who we are. I enjoy the thought that we are human beings, not human doers. There should be a correlation between who we are and what we do, but the cart (what we do) shouldn’t get ahead of the horse (who we are).

It was nearly fifty years ago that I heard a speaker challenge his audience to be “growing, playful adults in search of unicorns.” It stuck. It combines the being and the doing. Sometimes, simplicity works. And fifty years ago, unicorns were simple, mythological creatures. Think of the song explaining that while other animals were boarding the ark, the unicorns were playing silly games. “That’s why you’ll never see a unicorn to this very day.” They are lovely animals but can be silly. Silly people can be fun.

What qualifies me to write this? I’ve added some designations to my name in the attribution:

H.B. First and foremost, I am a human being. It could stand for over a hundred different things, but we’re keeping things simple.
G.P.A. I am a growing, playful adult–not to be confused with Grade Point Average.

Today might be a good day to give yourself some letters after your name. Who do you want to be, and what do you want to do?

Causes and Friends, Mental Hygiene, Personal Growth

Do You Know Who I Am?

September 8, 2024 Walter Leave a comment

You don’t have to answer, but I hope you’ll wonder just a little bit. This is a gravesite stone in the “old” Abbot Village Cemetery across from the town hall. You can still make out the word “Baby,” but you can likely surmise this child lived some years ago. The stone is worn, covered with lichen, and discolored, so I guess we don’t know who this is—or was.

My goal is to encourage curiosity, not sadness. Particularly as we age, we do tend to think about “legacy.” Most commonly (and the dictionary supports this), we think of our legacy as the amount of money or property we leave behind. It’s one way we will be remembered. Gravestones are another.

This child, or perhaps more accurately the family, “left behind” this small stone. I was reminded of the child’s short life during the few hours I spent recently volunteering to help the Abbot Historical Society clean gravestones. I found “Baby” in the family plot I was offered as my project.

After some spraying and scrubbing, the special solution we used will continue to work, and hopefully, the stains will lighten.

As I worked, I learned a bit more about “Baby.” He was the infant son of George and Sara Bradman. While his lifespan isn’t documented with dates, based on his parents’ stone, he probably lived his short life on Earth in the mid-to-late 1800s.

I mentioned all this to a good friend in an email. Jack replied, “Everyone does their best to make life work… Keeping gravestones clean is a nice reminder of how the system works. Not a bad spiritual exercise.”

Without getting too theological, I hope Baby Bradman and his parents are pleased with my work. I think our little town of Abbot is a better place, not just because this cemetery will look better when the project is finished, but because we are showing that we care about our community and its legacy. The spiritual exercise and reminder of how the system works was a bonus.

But wait, there’s more! Spending a few hours with like-minded coworkers was enjoyable. Everything we needed was provided, including materials, tools, support, and encouragement. We all paused briefly when a passing car repeatedly blew its horn, and the driver leaned out the window, waving and yelling, “Thank you!”

This was one of those occasions when the work itself was the reward. If you live in Abbot, keep an eye and ear open for the next opportunity. You can also contact Brian at the Abbot Historical Society. I won’t be surprised if you join this effort for a few hours and decide to do more.

Please note that cleaning gravestones must be done properly to prevent damage! Visiting an older cemetery can provide an appreciation for how fragile “permanent” stones are!

Amish Life, Learning, Mental Health, Mental Hygiene, Personal Growth, Road Trip 2024

Rachel’s Right–Again!

August 9, 2024 Walter Leave a comment

Instead of counting minutes, maybe count priorities.

Being in Lancaster County always feels a bit like being home again. We made this year’s visit towards the end of Road Trip 2024 somewhat intentionally to aid us in the “re-entry” to life as we usually practice it.

This sign on a Pennsylvania Bank serves as a reminder that we’re in Amish Country. Maybe I should have brought “my” oxen! (Yes, I’ve seen buggies at the drive-up window.)

One of our first stops was to see our young Amish friends Katie, Hanna Rose, and Rachel. All three are wise beyond their years, and their years are increasing. I was especially curious to talk with Rachel. We had a shared interest in teaching–what fun it was to compare notes! But last year we learned that she’d stopped teaching–Katie spilled the beans, explaining, “She’s in a relationship.”

After some friendly teasing, Rachel explained that it’s possible to have too many priorities and that, while she enjoyed teaching, her relationship and future family would be her focus. (Read last year’s story here.)

When we arrived this year, one of the young boys was sent to get her—she was helping her mother make and can ketchup. After a few preliminaries, I was not surprised to learn that she’s getting married on October 29th. She was glowing, and it was not just from the hot work of washing dishes.

Most conversations with the Amish I find are very mutual. She seemed equally interested in what I was doing and planning. At one point, I reminded her of our age difference and said, “I’m told that at my age, the two most important words are ‘comfort’ and ‘fun.'” She interrupted.

“And peace,” she said. “Don’t forget peace.”

The interruption surprised me, but the suggestion didn’t. Making peace a priority makes sense at any age. It’s one reason I try to keep my worry box small, so there’s not a lot of room for things to worry about. The peaceful pace is one thing that attracts me to the Amish. Rachel isn’t the only one who counts priorities instead of minutes and hours.

Sure, it’s possible to have too many priorities. But it’s also possible not to have enough or to miss an important one. It almost goes without saying that we should constantly check our priorities against our values. When I talked with my new Amish friend Roy in Ohio, he expressed some concern over the proliferation of e-bikes among the Amish. He’s not sure how that will change their communities over time. Questions like that are often more important than the answers. Our priorities should be driven by our values. We have more control over our values and priorities than we often exercise or even realize.

Thanks to Rachel, I’m adding “peace” to my package of priorities. I explained to her that I’ve always worked towards what I call “positive apathy.” It showed up last night when we stopped for ice cream at an Amish farm.

Grandma had a spray bottle and cloth and was eyeing the outside tables. I glanced heavenward and joked that it was likely to rain soon and the tables would wash themselves. She smiled and said, “We really need the rain.” (Rain should be a priority!) So, while I’d hoped to walk some with the camera, the rain is needed by the farmers and the earth. So be it. There is no need to worry or get upset. Peace, comfort, fun.

It may seem ironic that I’m adding to a package that is getting smaller, but I think it works that way. As the saying goes, “Less is more.”

Rain can be calming.

Learning, Road Trip 2024

And Four to Go!

July 22, 2024 Walter Leave a comment

It’s just about a half-mile from our house to the paved road. As we settle in our seats, that half-mile is an opportunity for us to clear our heads and remember something we either forgot or didn’t do. At the risk of bragging, we rarely find it necessary to turn around and go back.

Our first break will likely be in Gardiner, where we’ll recycle some coffee. Following the wisdom of serious road trippers, our first day is our most ambitious with a goal of Danbury, CT. It’s all familiar territory, and if we get an early start, the traffic on 495 should be tolerable. Note that we didn’t plan to leave Maine on Sunday.

Are we ready? A common answer is, “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” So there might be a theory of relativity on readiness. I just remembered a few minutes ago that I need to pump up the EZ Pass. I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was! (Yes, it does so automatically. But depending on technology is not without hazards. A few years ago, I went through two tolls close together. The balance ran out after the first one, and I didn’t have time to replenish before the second. A $2 toll became $30.)

Have we left? Well, not physically. But in our minds…

So many things are relative. That might mean there are more processes than events, and that’s worth considering.

Many years ago, I attended Berkshire Community College. The first president, Tom O’Connell, was justifiably proud of our motto. “To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive.” I remember him talking about it during a “President’s Hour.” I think he planted the seeds of my belief that life is an “unfinishedness.” For that matter, arriving may be relative as well. While planning and goals are important, we live in present moments.