Tag Archives: achievement

Causes and Friends, Just for Fun, Personal Growth

Sing It, Grandma Etta!

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I had the good fortune to be a nearly (several houses away) neighbor to Etta for a few years prior to moving to Maine. We remain in touch, sharing memories, stories, thoughts, and inspirations. (She says she keeps my book on her table–how can I not love her!?)

One of our funnier stories is how we shared a dog named Jake. He was officially her dog, but would often come calling, follow me around while I worked in the yard, and occasionally do “sleep-overs.” I’ve said, “Jake was the best dog I never really had.” It was quite a while before we learned what Jake had been up to and who he actually belonged to. The truth was revealed the day Etta and her granddaughter came to the house and Jake answered the door with me. Granddaughter exclaimed, “Hey, that’s our dog!”

Her most recent letter began, “Can you believe?! I am still here at 94–awesome!”

That’s not difficult to believe–Etta’s always been a bit like the Energizer Bunny… she keeps going and going. She self-describes herself as ADHD “before they had a name for it”… and admits that her physical body has slipped a bit, but her spirit has not aged one bit. Her letter included an energetic rundown of “where that spirt has moved me in the past four years.”

You really should meet her and see what she’s been up to, starting at 90 years old. YouTube makes that possible. I’m quite sure you’re allowed to call her “Gramma Etta” and will enjoy the mission she and her family have undertaken. Etta answers the question, “Can one person make a difference?”

Click here for Sing GBA Website

By the way… if you see or talk to  Etta, let her know that Valley Grange sang God Bless America at our Community Night Celebration on May 18, 2018.

Big Hearts, Causes and Friends, Maine Life, Small People

Happy Flowers, Angry Trees

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One of the kids at school was having, by her own admission, a challenging and frustrating day last week. She shared with me a somewhat amusing but also very effective coping mechanism that involved “centering” herself with a mantra announcing she was a happy flower and not an angry tree. This was accompanied by appropriate hand signals that mocked a blossoming flower.  I love that she recognizes she has the power of choice.

I’ve also come to truly love her analogy and metaphor. I’d like to use it to share some thoughts regarding the recent tragedy resulting in the loss of Corporal Cole’s life.

Let me first assure you, that incident turned me into a bit of angry tree as it did so many.  You do not have to spend much time on Facebook to realize that anger and frustration were common emotions. One of the things we “like” about social media is the feeling of “shared emotions.”

You also do not have to spend much time on Facebook to be somewhat frightened by the depth of those emotions–some bordering on pure rage. I am both surprised and not surprised at some of the suggestions being posted, many seeking revenge. There are many angry trees with roots that run deep and, in some cases, border on violent in and of themselves.

As someone who works with kids a lot, I am troubled by the example we often set on social media.  When I read some of the comments regarding what should happen to John Williams, the alleged killer of Corporal Cole, I find myself wondering if these people and their comments truly represent the society we live in and, more importantly, the society we hope our kids will create.

But then  I stumble on to a post by a Mom I know in a different part of the state. She announces that she and her daughter are headed to the local police station with a note written by her daughter and some accompanying “treats.” Since it was posted publicly I’ve taken the liberty of sharing the note after “erasing” Delaney’s last name–I’m a bit OCD about confidentiality where kids are concerned.

She is, I think, going to create–maybe already is creating–the sort of society I would like to be part of, one with lots of “happy” flowers.

How about you?

Communication, Mental Health, Mental Hygiene, Personal Growth, Suicide Prevention

13 Reasons Why, Season Two…

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There’s plenty of uncertainty about it but NetFlix appears to be planning a release of Season Two of the 13 Reasons Why series soon. As a result, it’s likely some teens and young adults will be rewatching season one–or possibly even watching it for the first time.

While this book and the resulting series need not be feared, those of us who are actively promoting suicide awareness and prevention are at least mildly disturbed that 13RW might seem to glorify suicide and, to quote an article written by a psychiatrist for the JED Foundation, “The suicide is graphically depicted, the young woman who dies is memorialized in unhelpful ways, the suicide seemingly results directly from the misdeeds perpetrated against her by others and Hannah is portrayed as a long suffering victim who, by her death, is taking vengeance on those who have wronged her.”

I’ve read the book. It’s not exactly an uplifting story.

However, knowledge is power. The consensus is that younger teens should not watch the show alone, although that may be unpreventable. It’s most important to be prepared to talk about the story and suicide.  For every “Hannah Story” there are other stories with different choices and happier endings.

One of the values of 13RW may be the dialog it creates and the opportunity to consider how we help one another through life. I’ve devoted a .  Several parents have told me they found the 13RW Talking points particularly helpful and have used them to have conversations with their children. There are also resources for teachers and school counselors.

If nothing else, please read the brief overview and specific recommendations published by the JED Foundation.

The message most missed by 13RW is that help is available. If you have any specific questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me.  And do not hesitate to contact a hotline/lifeline.

PS… I will be teaching a at the Guilford United Methodist Church on Tuesday, April 24, 2018. All are welcome!

Causes and Friends

Let’s honor… who and what?

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A Normandy Cemetery

Memorial Day–a day that triggers different thoughts and feelings. Also, a day that, hopefully, gives us pause and at least some moments of reflection. For a while this year, I thought an added feature would be a day of argument.

There are some folks who want to clarify the purposes of holidays–they are most noticeable on social media, often posted as a meme (a virally-transmitted cultural symbol or social idea). I saw one this morning suggesting we should understand there are three related holidays:

  1. Armed Forces Day (third Saturday in May) to pay tribute to those serving.
  2. Memorial Day (fourth Monday in May) to pay tribute to who died in active military service.
  3. Veterans’ Day (November 11) to pay tribute to those have served in the Armed Forces.

So it becomes arguable that there are three different days for three different populations. And the minute something becomes arguable, folks on Facebook are on it.

I value accuracy, but I’m not joining the debate.

I heard a conversation during which one person pointed out that Memorial Day was not a day to thank those currently serving. His listener replied, “Is it possible to thank those who have served or are serving too much?”

I don’t think so.

As a child, I remember visiting my Grandfather’s grave with my Dad this time of year. There were actually several trips involved as the flag holder was cleaned and painted, the stone cleaned, flowers planted… and we were often not alone as others performed similar tasks in anticipation of parades and visits to honor and remember. No one pointed out that Grandfather did not die in active military service and then suggest it was not appropriate to honor him on Memorial Day. I’m not sure if it was because the memories were fresher or because we just didn’t argue so much back then.

George Patton said, “It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.” Perhaps that is where we might stand this Memorial Day, recognizing and honoring the lives of those who served and died, who served and lived, and those who are serving are lives to be honored and not forgotten.

Communication, Personal Growth

Just How Busy Are You, Really?

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“If you don’t pay appropriate attention to what has your attention, it will take more of your attention than it deserves.”

David Allen

Well, that quote got my attention! The article it was in was about productivity–something that’s been weighing on my mind during what is traditionally one of my busiest months of the year. The article also mentioned a recent article in The Atlantic  suggesting that being busy may have become a status symbol.

I’m chuckling at the thought I currently have lots of status.

In a more serious vein, let’s go back to the quote. I think it, like most good quotes, gives rise to a number of thoughts and considerations.

I’ve always believed that there really aren’t time management problems–there are priority issues. Too often we are not conscious of what is getting our attention. I recently emailed someone for some fairly simple information I needed. When I didn’t get a reply, I emailed again. This time I received a fairly lengthy explanation for his failure to reply–he explained that he is extremely busy. What I found most interesting about his reply was that he could have given me the information in the amount of time it took for him to explain how busy he was, but he didn’t. Isn’t that interesting? I can accept that my needs may not be a priority, but I’d like a little honesty.

I think his failure to provide had less to do with how busy he was and more to do with him judging my need didn’t make it to his priority list.

Some time management/productivity gurus suggest managing energy rather than time. I’ve found that’s a great way to justify procrastination. “I don’t have the energy right now, so I’ll do something else.” For that matter, it works the same with time. “I don’t have enough time to do that (even though it’s really important) so I’ll wait until…” It’s certainly not hard to find reasons not to do things!Notice, though, procrastination is still about priorities. All we’re really doing is justifying the shifting our priorities.

Notice that procrastination is still about priorities. All we’re really doing is justifying shifting our priorities. That may be okay, but let’s recognize and admit that we’re doing it. We can at least be honest with ourselves.

When we’re less than honest with ourselves–that’s when we end up giving things more attention than they deserve. Anyone who’s ever tried to have an important or urgent conversation with someone who is constantly checking their smartphone and answering text messages knows exactly what I mean. And that’s just an example.

What does have your attention? Is that what’s important to you?

How busy are you, really?