Sometimes Even Heroes Need Help

If you are interested in “being one in a million” (a mental health first aid responder) you can check for training opportunities on the NAMI Maine Website or let me know and I’ll try to help. Having been trained for both youth and adults I can tell you that I’ve never once regretted it.

The blog for the National Council for Behavioral Health is featuring stores about mental health among veterans during the month of November.  This is a great opportunity to “get the facts” and be prepared to help those who have done so much for us.

Maybe when we thank a veteran for his or her service we should also ask, “How are you doing?” Human connection is powerful and doesn’t need to be difficult.

 

Checklists Work… even on a luggage tag!

Catching up on my email reading this morning… and found this great idea resource shared by NAMI. The site is called “Understood” and it includes a number of resources for “attention and learning issues.” In the parent’s toolkit section, there are printable backpack checklists for different age kids that can be made into a luggage tag. What a great idea! There are also some sample “contracts” parents can make with their children regarding homework and cell phone use.

I did not fully research or “vet” the site but it does look like everything on the site is available for free and there seems to be a good depth of resources and information. I may not use the sample luggage tag but I really like the idea and may have to make some tags for my own cases. Whenever I leave to teach a course I always find myself wondering “What am I forgetting…?”

 

It’s Really Not About You!

Every Suicide Awareness and Prevention Workshop seems to have something special about it. Our most recent was attended by a thirteen-year-old girl who, when she found out her Mom was attending, asked if she could tag along. That of itself is pretty impressive but this young lady was an enthusiastic attendee with some real insights.

An important part of the workshop is a discussion of what works and what doesn’t when dealing with someone who might be suicidal. Since we’d been talking about social media, I naturally ended up mentioning a post that I’ve seen all too often on Facebook. When I described it, my thirteen-year-old student immediately looked shocked and blurted, “That’s selfish!” I think my mouth dropped open a bit as I contemplated the fact that this young girl “gets it.”

We agreed that people sharing the post are well-intended but as is often the case on social media they are clicking without thinking.  As even my young friend seemed to understand, when someone is contemplating suicide, we really shouldn’t try to make it about us.

Furthermore, we know that when someone reaches the point where they are considering suicide, their thinking is affected and they are so wrapped into their own pain that consideration for others is nearly non-existent. If we really thought about it, does it make much sense to try to get that person to think about the pain he or she is going to cause us? As my young friend pointed out, “that just adds to their stress.” Personally, I would go so far as to say that statements like this trivialize the pain. It’s akin to saying, “Ha! You think you’ve got it bad? The pain you have is nothing compared to the pain I will have if you take your own life.”

Understand, I am not minimizing the pain we feel when someone we care deeply for completes a suicide. I have experienced that pain.

I am, however, deeply committed to the truth that we need to set our own potential pain aside if we want to be truly helpful to a human who is, almost literally, at the end of his or her rope.

We are probably motivated by what we teach in the workshop as the first step in an intervention with someone who may be suicidal. “Show you care.” But there are far more positive ways to do that than announcing how much we are going to suffer if the person chooses to end his or her life. For starters, we might try saying “I care what happens to you…”

Hanging up signs is not a bad thing. Some bridges have signs with the hotline number and phones with a direct connection. That’s demonstrating care because it encourages connection.

Human connection can seem complicated and difficult but it can be simple. It might start with a smile followed by genuine interest and some basic questions like “Are you okay?” If there’s any magic involved, it’s that we create the best human connections when we are genuinely interested in the other person.

My young workshop participant didn’t really talk about how much pain the issue of suicide caused her. She asked to attend so she would know how to help people. She had the courage to “role play” with me while I pretended to be suicidal.

I’ve written previously how, after every one of these workshops, I say to myself, “We have likely saved a life tonight.” I truly believe that. But I didn’t say exactly that after this most recent workshop. This time I said to myself, “That girl is going to save a life someday–probably more than one.”

Are you ready to do the same?

Maine Granger Releases Book ‘Exploring Traditions’ of the Grange

Reprinted from the September 2018 issue of The Patrons Chain–The Official Newsletter of the National Grange


Walter Boomsma, Program Director of Valley Grange and Maine State Grange Communications Director has authored the book, “Exploring Traditions–Celebrating the Grange Way of Life.”

While this is not his first book, Boomsma believes it may be one of his most important.

“The primary goal in writing it was to encourage exploration,” Boomsma said. “The Grange is a 150-year-old organization with a strong agricultural focus and many are questioning its relevance to
today’s society. I wanted to encourage people to develop a deeper understanding of what the Grange is all about–including our members. The Grange is very much about a way of life and, while
farming has changed, people have not.”

Boomsma said he also believes people who are not familiar with the Grange will appreciate exploring the value of tradition in general since “tradition and ritual create stability and a sense
of community, especially when we understand the basis for them.”

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National Grange Master Betsy Huber provided a foreward to the book, in which she wrote, “These essays by Walter Boomsma unpack the teachings of the Grange and relate them to today’s world and our everyday lives. He has a gift for taking the lessons from the farm and showing their relevance today, even for those whose only interaction with agriculture happens through their food and clothing choices. He understands the meaning the Grange Founders intended and interprets the sometimes archaic language to reveal the principles they wanted to teach to farm families who often had no other opportunity for education.“

Boomsma dedicated the book to a woman he affectionately calls a “Granger Extraordinaire,” Betty Van Dyke of Guilford. During a presentation of the first copy of the book, Boomsma said Van Dyke explained the great influence she had during his “formative years” as a Grange member.

“I came to appreciate both her knowledge of the Grange’s teachings and her commitment to what I later came to understand as ‘the Grange Way of Life.’”

At the height of her Grange career, Van Dyke held a number of local and state positions, including serving as the Maine State Community Service Director. At 94, Van Dyke still keeps track of what’s going on at Valley Grange and is a strong supporter.

Boomsma will sign copies of the book at the 152nd Annual Convention where it will be available for sale. It is also available through the Grange Supply Store. Contact Loretta Washington  or by phone at (202) 628-3507 ext. 109.


(Also available in the and from Amazon.)

Walter Boomsma (“Mr. Boomsma”) writes on a wide array of topics including personal development, teaching and learning. Course information is also available here!