Category Archives: Personal Growth

A Different Sort of Vigilance?

johnhain / Pixabay

I hesitate to bring up the recent school shooting in Florida, but a reality exists—this incident seems to have impacted many people, including, I confess me.

In our search for ways to protect our children, we not only have to guard against extremism and hysteria, we have to protect our children (and ourselves) from the emotional damage that often accompanies tragedies and trauma. It is perhaps, a different sort of vigilance, but is just as important.

We may be thousands of miles removed physically from this event but that does not mean we are not hurt and harmed. Children may especially have difficulty realizing and expressing those impacts. Watch for behavior changes. Take news breaks and social media breaks to avoid constant exposure to both your children and yourself.  Look for the helpers and the rainbows and remember to laugh.

I have been adding and expanding resources on my ” website— and for resources that help address tragedy, trauma, and grief. I have talked with too many students and teachers who are finding themselves struggling to cope with this latest incident. Please keep your eyes and ears open and do not hesitate to “reach out” to anyone who seems to be grappling, stressed or acting differently. I recently dealt with a child who had an unexplained panic attack. I can’t help but wonder about the causes…

If you find yourself having difficulty initiating a conversation, watch this one minute video, “.” If you need to help someone–or think you need help yourself, reach out and connect. It’s important.

How’s Christmas Going for You?

At our elementary school’s Holiday Concert, one kindergartener was completely dressed in a Santa Suit! I couldn’t resist looking totally shocked and saying to him, “Omigosh, I didn’t realize Santa was going to be here!”

He smiled at me, placed his hands on his little padded belly and said quite seriously, “Mr. Boomsma, what would you like for Christmas?” A few hours later I realized how important his question was.

I was at a different event and was introduced to a Christmas Song I’d never heard before. I’m not sure how I missed this song–it was written in 1974 by Greg Lake as a protest against the commercialization of Christmas. The song has an interesting history, but it has an even more interesting closing line:

“We get the Christmas we deserve…”

That’s something to think about. We are, unfortunately, a culture of fault-finders and that makes us often feel victimized. We complain about how commercial Christmas has become… object to the costs and the endless attempts at political correctness. We remember fondly the Christmases of yesteryear and whine, “It’s not like it used to be.”

Lake wrote the song in part because, as he described it, “Christmas was a time of family warmth and love. There was a feeling of forgiveness, acceptance.  And I do believe in Father Christmas.”

So maybe we need to focus on what we believe in and then ask ourselves “What am I contributing to the season and what do I want from it?” Once we’ve wrapped our heads (and hearts) around that we can create the activities that contribute to that meaning and focus on those. What do you want for Christmas? How are you going to get it?

Christmas isn’t something that happens to us.  We get the Christmas we deserve.

You can learn more about the interesting history of this tune on Wikipedia. 

Press Pause… a great idea and resource!

Here’s one of several great videos recently released…  and this link to a great website called “Press Pause.”  There are more short videos on the topics of dealing with anger and schedule overload.  These are created by “Half of Us.” I’m impressed with both of these sites and their content/approach–easy to navigate, bite-sized chunks of practical support and advice!