Tag Archives: teaching

Are We Driving or Communicating?

So, at least in theory, I recently learned how to work with an oxen team. I’d been saying that I was going to learn to drive oxen. Among my many discoveries was that working with oxen is more about communicating with them than driving them.

“Whooooa, Boys!” Notice I am moving the goad in front of them.

I heard one of my instructors say more than once. “You’re confusing them. They don’t know what you want them to do!” Staying focused on communicating was a bigger challenge than it might seem. And at times, it was funny. Mostly though, it was frustrating!

In brief, trained oxen receive information from the teamster in three ways. The first is (or at least should be) spatial—the body position of the teamster. Second is the “goad” or stick and where and how they are touched. The third is verbal. There is some indication that they hear vowels best. So “whoooooa” works better than “whoa.” The best example of confusing them was when I’d say, “Whoa!” but keep walking. (In my mind, it made sense because I wanted to get in front of them. In their bovine minds, I was sending mixed signals.)

Instructor Rob is a school teacher. We had lots of fun making comparisons. One was the comment, “What you’re doing shouts louder than what you’re saying.” You don’t have to work with kids for long before you realize “Do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t work well.

While a 2,000+ pound ox doesn’t engage in what we call “higher levels of reasoning,” the basics are the same. That said, two of the teams I worked with were extremely well-trained. One team of Devons would stand and let me walk some distance away. I could then raise my goad and call, “Right here, boys,” and they would walk to me and stop with their heads on either side of me.

We students had to learn a bit about herd instinct and survival from predators. Rob occasionally reminded us that building trust with the beasts was important. “You may have to convince them you’re not trying to kill them.” Herd instinct requires they accept you as the top ox.

Here’s an interesting comparison. My Ram pickup truck weighs about the same as a large pair of oxen. During Road Trip 2024, I drove that truck over 3,600 miles, mostly by pushing pedals, turning the wheel, and flipping switches. (I’m purposely omitting occasional arguments with the voice feature of the GPS.) The truck doesn’t have a mind of its own or any instincts. It just does what you tell it to do.

Oxen require a bit more understanding and communication than my truck or your car. You can’t just drive them. One of the things I found challenging is the amount of attention required with oxen, particularly when pulling something. There is no cruise control!

Of course, all analogies break down if you press them, but in addition to the joy of working with these large animals, it was great to be reminded of some of the basic truths about effective communication. I’m still processing, but a few important lessons can be learned.

Don’t send mixed messages! If you say “whoa,” stop moving. Remember: “What you are doing is shouting so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying.” Let’s get everything aligned.

Use multiple communication strategies! Oxen expect to be told and shown by position and the goad. With humans, say it, write it, demonstrate it. I’m not suggesting you email someone and ask if they got your text. Texting serves a different purpose than emailing or calling. Chose wisely.

Speak the language of the listener! With oxen, “Come here!” is not the same as “Right here!” Be conscious of buzzwords and implied meanings. Do you want me to do something, or do you need me to do something? Also, oxen can’t talk back. Humans can. Take advantage of that by asking humans what they heard or read.

Use the listener’s name freely! To make a team of oxen turn sharp left, one has to slow down and perhaps stop completelyit’s like driving a bulldozer. You’ll need to tell one ox (by name), “Haw!” and the other (by name), “Whoa!” (The goad and your body position are important. Use multiple communication strategies!)

When we want a team of oxen to do something, good communication is effective. “Driving” is not. Picture grabbing a 2,000-pound animal by the horns and making him stop. It’s not likely to happen. Picture yourself being dragged in the direction the team chooses. It might make for a funny video to post on social media, but it’s not likely to achieve the desired result.

When done correctly, communication is powerful. It beats driving any day once you get the hang of it.

Previews of Coming Attractions

When I talk (every chance I get) about the workshop I’m going to attend this summer, my listening victim often orders, “Take pictures!” Well, someone did at the one held in June.

I’ve also received the “curriculum” for the workshop. The primary instructor also happens to teach high school, so my educator mindset is comfortable with how things will unfold. At the risk of bragging, I was also pleased at how much of the content I’m familiar with after years of watching ox pulls.

Stay tuned!

My Brains!

Click to enlarge image.

I suppose this screenshot puts me at some risk of landing in Facebook Jail, but it’s worth it. According to poster Becki Cassidy, it’s a visual representation of her real estate career in “stress squeezer form.”

Sales Agent Course Alumni may recall that I furnished these to students taking the course’s final exam. The idea was that you would have an extra brain to “squeeze” the information from. (Some data suggests that fidgeting (squeezing) improves focus and concentration.)

I really like Becki’s question, “Anyone getting a Wizard of Oz vibe?” I did–on several points. I’m not in Kansas anymore, having left teaching real estate and “repotting” myself. And, of course, “If I only had a brain” is an irresistible hum.

Maybe I’m enjoying this too much because of the fact that the brain is next to a heart, possibly suggesting some important synergy. Brain, heart, and courage do seem to be vital to personal success.

Thanks, Becki. It’s great to know my brains are still out there. Of course, they are now your brains. (Whenever UPS delivered a shipment, I would act excited while taking the box and exclaiming, “My brains came! My brains came!” ) The idea of brains existing outside the body can be fun.

I am humbly trying not to think of myself as a wizard, although we all have some wizard in us. We can “give” others helpful thinking and care and help create courage.

Following the yellow brick road is also not a bad idea. We all would benefit from having and better using our brains, hearts, and courage.

I’m off to see the wizard. Care to come along?

We’re Already Here

Regular readers are at least familiar with my dear friend and colleague, Jack Falvey. I recently shared some plans with him and was not surprised by his response. Since I’m about to share those plans publicly, I’ll start with part of his response.

“We spend our whole lives trying to make it. For better or worse, we are already here.”

Jack Falvey

Ironically, as I prepared to write this, Seth Godin, in his daily blog post, notes that what we’re doing influences where we are. He asks the rhetorical question, “What happens when we are here and now?”

All these thoughts about where we are and what we’re doing are a good introduction to a few thoughts about where I am, where I’m going, and what I’m doing. I think some of you will be surprised.

This is not going to be a typical summer in our household. For one thing, we won’t be here for three weeks. How this all came about could be an interesting tale that might include karma and coincidence for those who believe in that sort of stuff.

Our extended road trip includes some time in Holmes County, Ohio, often referred to as Amish Country. On the return trip, we’ll also visit Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and connect with some Amish friends there.

However, a primary goal of the trip is Scotts, Michigan, which is the home of Tillers International. Here, I’ll spend four days learning to train and drive oxen.

Tillers Photo of Oxen Team
Doing things the old way… Photo by Tillers International, and no, that’s not me!

As some know, I’m a huge fan of oxen and ox pulls or draws. I can spot a poorly trained team or a teamster that doesn’t understand them. Tiller’s isn’t training for competition–they have a mission that includes preserving our rural heritage and skills. “We attract many people to our classes that are interested in history, the use of hand tools, nostalgia, and a sense of accomplishment of doing something ‘the old-school way.'”

While I’m going to Michigan, in another sense, I’ll be somewhere else. Maybe even a different time when things were more straightforward and we lived closer to the earth.

I’ve joked that this may qualify as one of the more useless things I’ve done in my life. I have no intention of acquiring a team. But as an educator, I suspect I’ll be conscious of how I’m trained and how I, in turn, train and manage these furry fellows.

Jack’s cryptic writing style is reassuring: “I love the oxen adventure. That is you. Oxen are real. You are in a good place.”


Some of my other thoughts on oxen:

Gee Haw! Meet four-year-old Julia and her two large friends. She had the fine distinction of being the youngest and smallest driver in a special class of oxen pulling…

Thanks, Julia! Seven years ago, Julia had the fine distinction of being the youngest and smallest driver in a special class of oxen pulling I watched. It was both entertaining and impressive. 

If Julia can do it, so can I!

The End Is Always the Beginning

When I announced my “retirement” from teaching real estate last spring, I introduced the concept of “repotting.” (Spoiler alert: a friend told me to stop saying retirement and switch to repotting. “You’re just going to grow in a different place.”) Bear that in mind as I make yet another announcement.

On November 10, 2023, I inactivated my Maine Real Estate Broker License. It was a bit of a ritual–I’d stopped actively engaging in brokerage some years ago and had no intention of starting again. My joke was, “There are more fun ways not to make money.” That might be a different topic, although, at the time, the market was challenging. Besides, I could broker vicariously through the experiences my students shared.

That’s not to say that real estate–whether brokering or teaching–isn’t fun. I recently had a lot of laughs with my colleagues at my agency of record, the Mallet Agency in Dover Foxcroft. We recounted some of the funny things that have happened over the years. And I’ve often quoted, “The little joys of teaching are without number.” Sometimes I do roll my eyes when I say it, but it really is true.

So, after clicking “submit” on my application to change my license status, what happened? In one sense, not much. No grand chorus rang from the skies; the heavens didn’t open, there was no clap of thunder… In a very real sense, I’d simply officially made a life change that began some years ago. Every end has a beginning, and every beginning has an end.

So I left for Bangor but stopped at the mailbox. In it was a big envelope of thank you notes from some third graders I recently spent some time with. (It’s a long story; you can find the details here.) I also stopped to meet and visit a 94-year-old fellow in hospice. (It’s another long story; you can find the details here.) We had a great visit. I enjoyed his smiles.

As the day progressed, I seemed to have one positive experience after another. I had some canning jars to drop off at my Amish friend’s farm stand. It was another happy visit. I usually bring books for her sons, and their enthusiasm for them is both rewarding and encouraging.

I know that our “worldview” tends to influence what we see and how we interpret it, but I had to admit that a lot of good stuff seemed to be coming my way on this both eventful and uneventful day. We can attribute it to Karma or fate or the planets being aligned, but my last stop on the way home was the grocery store for a gallon of milk. When the fellow ahead of me was given his amount due, he jerked a thumb my way and said, “I want to pay for his milk.”

A day that started with an ending included lots of new beginnings. Or maybe just one. Maybe, for some reason, I started seeing the world a little differently. Today was a great reminder we have a lot of control over how we see ourselves and how we see the world. I may not be an official real estate broker any longer, but new beginnings are more important than endings. I’m just going to thrive and grow and laugh and enjoy in different places. I didn’t retire. I repotted.