Tag Archives: life

Learning, Personal Growth

Who Do I Trust?

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(Since I know a few grammar preservationists, I’ll acknowledge that “Whom do I trust?” might be more grammatically correct. My weak excuse is my grammar checker is allowing it, and it will sound more nearly correct to most.) I will also invoke the wisdom of my much-admired English Teacher, Mr. Russo. “It’s important to learn the rules of grammar so you know when to break them in the interest of communicating.”

If you’re tired of hearing about scams, I get it. I am, too. But you might find this story interesting because of the coincidences and how good the attempt is! The perp gets an “A” for effort.

I have a personal Capital One credit card account. One thing I appreciate about it is that Capital One does an excellent job of spotting questionable transactions. I made a transaction last Saturday that was legitimate but a bit weird (because I split a dinner check, it looked like I had given a 300% tip). I received an email and text message from Capital One asking me if I did make it. The system worked. Quite well, actually.

Today I received another Fraud Alert that looked like it came from Capital One. At first, I thought it was related. The first clue that something was wrong is that it was addressed to me as the webmaster of the Maine State Grange Website. As far as I know, MSG doesn’t have an account, and if it did, I wouldn’t be the contact. But the appearance of the email was almost identical to the one I’d received questioning the huge tip. So, in one respect, it “made sense.”

But in some others, it didn’t. The email address it came from didn’t look right. The links to click didn’t look right. The button to click to sign into my account was huge and bright green. It lacks specifics. (The previous legitimate email included the amounts.) I could go on. The fact the emails arrived close together was sheer coincidence.

There’s been some interesting dialog about the lack of trust we are learning to live with, even though trust is an integral part of our humanity. It’s not limited to financial matters, although scams and phishing attempts are growing geometrically and increasingly sophisticated. What is happening to our society? Yes, it’s an interesting consideration.

But here’s a more important one. We don’t have to live in fear of being scammed.

When I learned to drive (communicate with) oxen this summer, the instructor reminded us that it’s crucial the oxen learn you aren’t trying to kill them. It’s a funny way of understanding that survival instincts are important, and not just for bovines. They are justifiably cautious creatures. We’re teaching them to manage their instincts.

Living in a complex and risk-filled society doesn’t mean we have to live in fear. We do have to be disciplined and learn to trust ourselves when attempts are made. Caution is not fear; it’s brilliant. Caution helps us manage our instincts. Human creatures should be good at it.

When I got that email, I admit, I was tempted to see where this little scam was going. I’m somewhat instinctively curious. Curiosity killed the cat, according to one saying. I suppressed my curiosity and instead, I reported it to Capital One. And now you know about it too. That knowledge should help you trust yourself.

Just for Fun, Personal Growth

Letters and More Letters

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by Walter Boomsma, H.B., G.P.A.

The beginning of the day is always interesting. One of my tasks today involved an article submitted by a writer who added an acronym after her name. I had no idea what it stood for. As the saying goes, “Curiosity killed the cat.” So, I googled the acronym LCN.

According to the results, she might be a member of the Lamborghini Club Nederland, although I doubt it. La Cosa Nostra was reasonably close to the top of the list. I had 29 choices. I think I figured it out. I decided to write about the experience, so I wouldn’t feel like I had wasted time. Let’s think about acronyms.

As I roam around academic circles, signature lines are often replete with acronyms. Of course, everyone knows what B.S. is, but not all realize that P.H.D. could stand for the fact that the B.S. is “Piled Higher and Deeper.”

Many know that I spent many years working with Arthur Gary in real estate education. Arthur always had a long list of accreditations after his name on the materials he produced. (They didn’t fit on a business card.) A student once jokingly asked him if he knew what they all stood for. Given Arthur’s incredible memory, I was not surprised when he rattled them off alphabetically. I just kept it simple. What mattered to me was that Arthur was a P.A.G. (Pretty Amazing Guy).

I recently received an email from an academic that was genuinely mind-boggling. Her email signature included a lengthy paragraph of acronyms. That paragraph was longer than the email. I can’t say that I was particularly impressed by either. However, I did wonder if she was a P.S. (Professional Student).

Of course, I’m having fun with this and probably should apologize to those who are rightfully proud of their accomplishments. But our accomplishments may not be who we are. I enjoy the thought that we are human beings, not human doers. There should be a correlation between who we are and what we do, but the cart (what we do) shouldn’t get ahead of the horse (who we are).

It was nearly fifty years ago that I heard a speaker challenge his audience to be “growing, playful adults in search of unicorns.” It stuck. It combines the being and the doing. Sometimes, simplicity works. And fifty years ago, unicorns were simple, mythological creatures. Think of the song explaining that while other animals were boarding the ark, the unicorns were playing silly games. “That’s why you’ll never see a unicorn to this very day.” They are lovely animals but can be silly. Silly people can be fun.

What qualifies me to write this? I’ve added some designations to my name in the attribution:

  • H.B. First and foremost, I am a human being. It could stand for over a hundred different things, but we’re keeping things simple.
  • G.P.A. I am a growing, playful adult–not to be confused with Grade Point Average.

Today might be a good day to give yourself some letters after your name. Who do you want to be, and what do you want to do?

Causes and Friends, Mental Hygiene, Personal Growth

Do You Know Who I Am?

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Before some spraying and scrubbing.

You don’t have to answer, but I hope you’ll wonder just a little bit. This is a gravesite stone in the “old” Abbot Village Cemetery across from the town hall. You can still make out the word “Baby,” but you can likely surmise this child lived some years ago. The stone is worn, covered with lichen, and discolored, so I guess we don’t know who this is—or was.

My goal is to encourage curiosity, not sadness. Particularly as we age, we do tend to think about “legacy.” Most commonly (and the dictionary supports this), we think of our legacy as the amount of money or property we leave behind. It’s one way we will be remembered. Gravestones are another.

This child, or perhaps more accurately the family, “left behind” this small stone. I was reminded of the child’s short life during the few hours I spent recently volunteering to help the Abbot Historical Society clean gravestones. I found “Baby” in the family plot I was offered as my project.

After some spraying and scrubbing, the special solution we used will continue to work, and hopefully, the stains will lighten.

As I worked, I learned a bit more about “Baby.” He was the infant son of George and Sara Bradman. While his lifespan isn’t documented with dates, based on his parents’ stone, he probably lived his short life on Earth in the mid-to-late 1800s.

I mentioned all this to a good friend in an email. Jack replied, “Everyone does their best to make life work… Keeping gravestones clean is a nice reminder of how the system works. Not a bad spiritual exercise.”

Without getting too theological, I hope Baby Bradman and his parents are pleased with my work. I think our little town of Abbot is a better place, not just because this cemetery will look better when the project is finished, but because we are showing that we care about our community and its legacy. The spiritual exercise and reminder of how the system works was a bonus.

But wait, there’s more! Spending a few hours with like-minded coworkers was enjoyable. Everything we needed was provided, including materials, tools, support, and encouragement. We all paused briefly when a passing car repeatedly blew its horn, and the driver leaned out the window, waving and yelling, “Thank you!”

This was one of those occasions when the work itself was the reward. If you live in Abbot, keep an eye and ear open for the next opportunity. You can also contact Brian at the Abbot Historical Society. I won’t be surprised if you join this effort for a few hours and decide to do more.

Please note that cleaning gravestones must be done properly to prevent damage! Visiting an older cemetery can provide an appreciation for how fragile “permanent” stones are!

Road Trip 2024

Honey, I’m Home!

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We arrived in Sugarcreek late yesterday afternoon after more Interstate incidents. One qualified as a “you can’t get there from here” experience. We did ultimately find our way. Greta Garmin complained a lot and did a lot of “route recalculations.” I think she resented the fact that human interference was required. To her credit, her voice showed no signs of frustration.

That means she also hasn’t experienced the joy of parking inside a garage at our VRBO. She doesn’t care how amazing this place is, but we sure do. We have everything we need and some things we don’t. It might be a new way of looking at “simple.” I did have some difficulty figuring out how to start the coffee maker this morning, but it was there, along with a wide array of coffee choices. The owners clearly have both the desire and skill to make things easy for their guests.

The last time we were in the area was close to forty years ago. I’d been warned that “a lot has changed.” Since my memory is sufficiently cloudy, I’m not confident in making comparisons, plus we haven’t really seen much of the area yet. Greta likes direct routes and is not a fan of meandering. She might even be a little obsessive when it comes to goal orientation. She’s definitely a linear thinker.

Will there ever be a GPS that you can tell, “I’ll like to go for a drive in the country. What do you suggest?”

In anticipation of this trip, I joined a few road trip groups. I scratch my head when I read a request like, “We are traveling from Florida to Maine for two weeks. What are some things we should see along the way?” The comments (answers) are clearly well-intended. If it’s an area I’m familiar with, I may ask about the traveler’s interests before answering. That just seems a bit practical. For example, on our trip here, we did not stop at any places offering ziplining.

It’s not that we’re not open to new experiences.

Whether one is a GPS, VRBO host, or traveler/VRBO guest, life gets simpler when values are clearer. The GPS realizes (admittedly in a mechanical and unemotional way) that it’s important to get you there. The VRBO host realizes that it’s important to make you comfortable. As travelers and guests, we get to decide what’s important. Sometimes, it’s important to get there. Sometimes, it’s important to be comfortable. The list goes on, and it changes.

It works best when we determine what’s important and assume at least some of the responsibility for obtaining it. It might be just that simple.

The view out the front window of our VRBO in Sugarcreek Ohio
Bullying, Personal Growth, Road Trip 2024

Oh, No! Not that again!

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If only it were this easy!

Lane closed… Construction ahead!

No, we didn’t count how often we encountered it. But we did notice that people seem to see a sign beneath it reading, “Prizes awarded to those who get to the point of merging first!”

We are left to ponder the competitive nature of our society in general. A distant cousin in the Netherlands posted this morning about her son being bullied during his elementary school career. I think there’s a correlation here. (Not between road closings in the U.S. and schools in Holland, but between the constant competition and bullying.)

I might also be tired of driving. Today is our third day with a low goal of 250 miles. I can do this. I’m not excited about it but I can do this. Wait! Is that a form of competing with myself?

Life is not just about setting records.

As another example, I never intended to publish daily. (I did intend to keep a daily journal.) But here I am. I did look at today’s route and it does include some “non-Interestate” miles. Somehow, that’s a relief. Stopping for traffic lights seems better than being squeezed out by people who want to get there first.

I did need to refuel yesterday. The Ram has a range of 600 miles on a tank of gas! And we are averaging 20 MPG, even with all the merging and 10 MPH speeds.

But it would be nice to slow down because we want to and not because we have to!