Tag Archives: achievement

Learning, Personal Growth

Discuss this with yourself…

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I just finished reading an article about “Electronic Overload.” The article encouraged me to determine whether or not it was time for me to get disconnected by asking myself a series of questions. (I kinda hoped the article would suggest feeling compelled to read it mean I needed to disconnect.)

At the same time, the article suggested that a need to be constantly connected to Facebook, Twitter, etc. has become the “new norm” whereby we feel compelled to keep up with our 813 Facebook Friends’ Daily travails, food choices, game scores, and assorted other drama. So I’m not sure if I was being encouraged to disconnect or understand that this is the way life now happens.

Since I had just spent my daily fifteen minutes of Facebook time prior to reading the article, I could relate. When I closed Facebook I found myself actually chuckling over some of the things I’d learned. I suppose I could list some here, but I’m not going to risk embarrassing people. Suffice it to say that I’m not sure I gained much by knowing where people partied last night, what quotes they liked and shared, what music they were listening to…

Okay, the latest picture of a nephew was  really cute… and having occasional contact with relatives and friends quite literally around the world is sorta neat. Many of these connections are ones I wouldn’t otherwise have. But like all good things, there’s a flip side to this. Our species seems to have difficulty with moderation.

I recently had a conversation (in real-time on the phone, not online) with a friend (A) who reported some difficulties with a mutual acquaintance (B) who “usually gets things done,” but has been unresponsive of late and is creating some difficulty as a result. A quick check of Facebook yields lots of reports of B’s game achievements and at least one request for me to “connect” and join in. Do you suppose there is a correlation? Is B somebody who should perhaps occasionally disconnect?

On a slightly different track, another friend sent me a link via email to a site with a cartoon she was quite sure I’d enjoy. In my reply to her, I noted that she created a bit of “lost time” for me this morning as I couldn’t resist poking through some of the others. It was in the course of doing that I encountered one that instructed: “Discuss this with yourself.” Now that’s a concept that deserves some exploration. For students who attend classes I teach, you can be assured you’ll occasionally hear that.

So here’s the deal. I’m not going to ask you to discuss whether or not you need a little disconnect from electronic media. Many of you already know you do. I am going to ask you to discuss your priorities with yourself. That might include a hard look at your Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc. activity… if you can be objective about what you see, it will show you where your priorities are in practice.  If you can’t be objective (an admittedly difficult assignment–we’re better at rationalizing our behavior than analyzing it), at least discuss with yourself what you think your priorities are. Then discuss with yourself if your connections and habits match your priorities.

Classes and Courses, Personal Growth

Speakeasy Opportunity!

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We have a few people interested in starting an informal group of people who’d like to hone their public speaking skills… no dues, no structure… just an occasional get together that allows us to “practice” speaking in front of a non-threatening group and receive constructive feedback. We’re betting some of the presentations will be pretty interesting too! We’re finishing up a public speaking class on Tuesday April 17th and those who think they might be interested in something like this are invited/encouraged to attend the class. We’ll start at 6:30 PM at the Piscataquis Valley Adult Education Cooperative Center on Morton Avenue. Prepared speeches aren’t required, but if you bring one we’ll listen! Any questions, send me an email or give me a call at 343-1842

Learning, Teaching

My Brains Came! My Brains Came!

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The UPS truck made it up the driveway yesterday in spite of the storm… I suppose the driver thought it a bit odd that I proclaimed “my brains are here!” when he set the box down.

It was a fairly large box.

Dealing with test and quiz anxiety is typically a challenge for some adult learners. A few years ago I learned that using stress balls (sometimes called “squeezies”) can help restless children focus… the constant motion seems to release energy and allow the child to focus. So, I thought. “Why wouldn’t this work with adults taking quizzes and tests?”

My first experiment with the theory included a young man who was self-proclaimed “A.D.D.” and he actually broke the stress ball I provided. But he also got a pretty good grade and thought having it helped. So I ordered more–different ones that wouldn’t break.

These cubes proved popular–so much so that they’ve gradually disappeared and I’m down to three. Since it was time to order more, I decided to get a little creative this time… and I was quite pleased to find “squeezies” in the shape of brains. How much more appropriate could things be? Take a test–squeeze your brain! You might be surprised to discover what comes out!

Learning, Personal Growth, Teaching

“I’m sorry I’m not better at this…”

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During a recent visit to a third grade art class a budding young artist finished her assigned work before the class was over. Since project work is often finished at different paces, students who complete their assignment with the teacher’s approval are then allowed to “play” individually with other projects of their chosing. This young lady requested that I sit across from her “So I can draw a picture of you.”

This process involved a number of different colored crayons and certainly included some artistic license. I am wearing glasses in the result, but my clothing was adapted to include a turtleneck shirt. “I’m not really very good at drawing necks,” was the explanation. I chuckled at the thought of the mall artists who will do sketches will you wait. They usually work in silence with a small audience behind them and you get to watch the audience’s reactions as the image forms.

In this cause the artist’s reactions were apparent because she kept a running commentary going. Much of it was actually a series of apologies over the parts she had trouble with or the goofs she made.  “I’m sorry but I can’t draw hands very good.” (My hands are raised as if I’m being held up, but I think I’m actually supposed to be waving.) I would have to say that I look much more muscular than I realized and have very square shoulders. Of course I countered her continued self-deprecation with gentle compliments and made sure she knew I was approving of her efforts. She was, after all, being quite professional–studying me with a trained eye, then attempting to record what she saw with blunted crayons.

I admired her courage. 

But I also felt a deep sadness because she keep repeating her sense that her work wasn’t good. Or at least not good enough. I suppose that makes her an achiever, but at what point will she give up and decide she isn’t an artist? I know I learned long ago that I’m not “artistic.” I’m sure I would not be able to draw a very good picture of her–at least that’s true  if “good” means “accurate.”

As a student of education and learning, I long ago became an opponent of the popular “self esteem” movement that suggests education is all about making kids feel good about themselves. It’s not that I’m against kids developing self-worth. But as my experience with this artist demonstrates, when we try to hand it to them, we actually are taking it away. They want to earn it.

I don’t think we should deprive them of that opportunity. Somewhere between giving all positive messages and constant criticism there’s a balance. That it’s hard to find doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try–any more than the fact that my little friend “can’t draw hands” means she shouldn’t try. We can learn a lot from her. If I’d tried to convince her she’d drawn great hands, she’d have known I was not being honest.

Can we agree with her that my hands “don’t look right” without making her feel like she’s a failure?

Perhaps more to the point, can we face our own errors without considering ourselves a failure? I usually find one student in my adult classes that I refer to affectionately as “my little over-achiever.” Math anxiety and test anxiety have their roots in the fact that we are not taught how to fail. Somewhere along the way we forget there’s process.

Let’s not be afraid to value process and effort. They are as much a part of our self-worth as are our accomplishments.

One of the things I’ve had to learn about working with kids is that it’s best not to read too much into what they say and do. It’s tempting, but I really think she just wanted to draw me–that was her goal and the desired result. She gave the drawing to me when it was finished. I approved it, but I’m not even sure my approval was important to her.

But that drawing is very important to me. And it’s hanging where I have to pass it every day because I want to be reminded of these many things. I’m not ready to start drawing portraits, but if she can try things, so can I. Getting results is great, but enjoying the process is pretty awesome too.

Oh, I also kinda like that the final touch to her masterpiece is the angel she drew sitting on my shoulder.

Classes and Courses, Learning

Solopreneuring and Security

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Neil Matthews is an interesting bloke. I say that because he’s from the UK. I “met” him several years ago when I had a technical issue with a WordPress installation and hired him to fix it… which he did from across the ocean. That experience was the epitome of “solopreneuring” and “globalization.” Neil recently explained his passion for solopreneuring. While our businesses are very different our issues are very similar. His post started my wheels turning when he asked readers to share their reasons for not building a team (of employees). What follows is an expanded and edited version of my reply.

My last official “job” ended nearly 30 years ago when I realized that no organization was going to share my commitments and passions. Tom Peters was making a ton of money and fame from his book “In Search of Excellence” and somehow I came to the conclusion that it might be easier to stop searching for excellence and start creating it.

I also came to realize that independence was/is an important value for me but that independence is also about security and less about bosses and freedom. Shortly after I started, a young fellow bought me lunch because he wanted an informational interview. He spent most of the time whining about his bad boss and the company that employed him. I started whining along with him about my similar situation. We really got into a sympathetic groove and it was quite a while before he looked at me and said, “Hey, wait a minute! You work for yourself.” I assured him that was less true than he thought. You don’t go “out on your own” for the freedom–at least not in the short-term. It’s real easy to swap one bad boss for a lousy situation where all of your customers become your boss.

He was one of many people who’ve said over the years that they envy me but they can’t live without the security of a paycheck. I sorta have to chuckle. For employees security is a  bit of an illusion. A solopreneur may actually have more security.

(By the way, notice that I’ve not said “self-employed” — a familar term but it still about being an employee.)

Bill Gates has been quoted as saying that he constantly reminds himself that Microsoft is never more than two years away from failure. We can certainly debate whether or not practice reflects his thinking, but he’s at least aware that a major screw up or cataclysmic event could wipe out Microsoft in two years. I’m not sure how the Microsoft Payroll system works, but assuming it’s weekly, most of his employees are one week away from “losing it all.”

As an old retailer, I remember well the truism, “Volume covers a multitude of sins.” When you’re on the way up and customers are beating down your doors you can afford to screw up. Growth and success creates another illusion of security.  More customers, more employees, more divisions, more products… go, go, go!

A solopreneur has to question that logic because the very nature of solopreneuring is… well, solo! A solopreneur understands that his “more” options are limited and that’s a good thing. There are other ways to build security (and the independence that goes with it). The good news is that the opportunities for solopreneuring are better than ever. The better news is that solopreneuring prevents “collective dumbness” whereby a group of reasonably intelligent people come together, engage in group think, and make really bad decisions.

Let’s remember, a solopreneur is not truly working for herself. But a solopreneur better know exactly what she is working for and better have a plan for getting it.

Have you got what it takes to engage in some solopreneuring? (You may not have to – or want to – quit your “day j0b.”  We’ll explore this in the workshop sponsored by P.V.A.E.C. on Tuesday, March 6th at SeDoMoCha in Dover Foxcroft. You can register online or call 564-6525. The cost is only $10… and it will be fast-paced and fun!