“I’m sorry I’m not better at this…”

February 21, 2012 Walter 1 Comment

During a recent visit to a third grade art class a budding young artist finished her assigned work before the class was over. Since project work is often finished at different paces, students who complete their assignment with the teacher’s approval are then allowed to “play” individually with other projects of their chosing. This young lady requested that I sit across from her “So I can draw a picture of you.”

This process involved a number of different colored crayons and certainly included some artistic license. I am wearing glasses in the result, but my clothing was adapted to include a turtleneck shirt. “I’m not really very good at drawing necks,” was the explanation. I chuckled at the thought of the mall artists who will do sketches will you wait. They usually work in silence with a small audience behind them and you get to watch the audience’s reactions as the image forms.

In this cause the artist’s reactions were apparent because she kept a running commentary going. Much of it was actually a series of apologies over the parts she had trouble with or the goofs she made. “I’m sorry but I can’t draw hands very good.” (My hands are raised as if I’m being held up, but I think I’m actually supposed to be waving.) I would have to say that I look much more muscular than I realized and have very square shoulders. Of course I countered her continued self-deprecation with gentle compliments and made sure she knew I was approving of her efforts. She was, after all, being quite professional–studying me with a trained eye, then attempting to record what she saw with blunted crayons.

I admired her courage.

But I also felt a deep sadness because she keep repeating her sense that her work wasn’t good. Or at least not good enough. I suppose that makes her an achiever, but at what point will she give up and decide she isn’t an artist? I know I learned long ago that I’m not “artistic.” I’m sure I would not be able to draw a very good picture of her–at least that’s true if “good” means “accurate.”

As a student of education and learning, I long ago became an opponent of the popular “self esteem” movement that suggests education is all about making kids feel good about themselves. It’s not that I’m against kids developing self-worth. But as my experience with this artist demonstrates, when we try to hand it to them, we actually are taking it away. They want to earn it.

I don’t think we should deprive them of that opportunity. Somewhere between giving all positive messages and constant criticism there’s a balance. That it’s hard to find doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try–any more than the fact that my little friend “can’t draw hands” means she shouldn’t try. We can learn a lot from her. If I’d tried to convince her she’d drawn great hands, she’d have known I was not being honest.

Can we agree with her that my hands “don’t look right” without making her feel like she’s a failure?

Perhaps more to the point, can we face our own errors without considering ourselves a failure? I usually find one student in my adult classes that I refer to affectionately as “my little over-achiever.” Math anxiety and test anxiety have their roots in the fact that we are not taught how to fail. Somewhere along the way we forget there’s process.

Let’s not be afraid to value process and effort. They are as much a part of our self-worth as are our accomplishments.

One of the things I’ve had to learn about working with kids is that it’s best not to read too much into what they say and do. It’s tempting, but I really think she just wanted to draw me–that was her goal and the desired result. She gave the drawing to me when it was finished. I approved it, but I’m not even sure my approval was important to her.

But that drawing is very important to me. And it’s hanging where I have to pass it every day because I want to be reminded of these many things. I’m not ready to start drawing portraits, but if she can try things, so can I. Getting results is great, but enjoying the process is pretty awesome too.

Oh, I also kinda like that the final touch to her masterpiece is the angel she drew sitting on my shoulder.

Classes and Courses, Learning

Got What It Takes?

February 21, 2012 Walter Leave a comment

Have You Got What It Takes? — Nearly everyone at some time enjoys the idea of “being their own boss.” The rewards may be great but so are the risks and requirements. This fast-paced workshop will challenge you to be honest with yourself and discover what sort of person you will be to work for and the personal qualities you’ll need to succeed. Class is scheduled for March 6th–just two weeks away! Call PVAEC at 564-6525 to register!

Classes and Courses, Learning

Solopreneuring and Security

January 28, 2012 Walter Leave a comment

Neil Matthews is an interesting bloke. I say that because he’s from the UK. I “met” him several years ago when I had a technical issue with a WordPress installation and hired him to fix it… which he did from across the ocean. That experience was the epitome of “solopreneuring” and “globalization.” Neil recently explained his passion for solopreneuring. While our businesses are very different our issues are very similar. His post started my wheels turning when he asked readers to share their reasons for not building a team (of employees). What follows is an expanded and edited version of my reply.

My last official “job” ended nearly 30 years ago when I realized that no organization was going to share my commitments and passions. Tom Peters was making a ton of money and fame from his book “In Search of Excellence” and somehow I came to the conclusion that it might be easier to stop searching for excellence and start creating it.

I also came to realize that independence was/is an important value for me but that independence is also about security and less about bosses and freedom. Shortly after I started, a young fellow bought me lunch because he wanted an informational interview. He spent most of the time whining about his bad boss and the company that employed him. I started whining along with him about my similar situation. We really got into a sympathetic groove and it was quite a while before he looked at me and said, “Hey, wait a minute! You work for yourself.” I assured him that was less true than he thought. You don’t go “out on your own” for the freedom–at least not in the short-term. It’s real easy to swap one bad boss for a lousy situation where all of your customers become your boss.

He was one of many people who’ve said over the years that they envy me but they can’t live without the security of a paycheck. I sorta have to chuckle. For employees security is a bit of an illusion. A solopreneur may actually have more security.

(By the way, notice that I’ve not said “self-employed” — a familar term but it still about being an employee.)

Bill Gates has been quoted as saying that he constantly reminds himself that Microsoft is never more than two years away from failure. We can certainly debate whether or not practice reflects his thinking, but he’s at least aware that a major screw up or cataclysmic event could wipe out Microsoft in two years. I’m not sure how the Microsoft Payroll system works, but assuming it’s weekly, most of his employees are one week away from “losing it all.”

As an old retailer, I remember well the truism, “Volume covers a multitude of sins.” When you’re on the way up and customers are beating down your doors you can afford to screw up. Growth and success creates another illusion of security. More customers, more employees, more divisions, more products… go, go, go!

A solopreneur has to question that logic because the very nature of solopreneuring is… well, solo! A solopreneur understands that his “more” options are limited and that’s a good thing. There are other ways to build security (and the independence that goes with it). The good news is that the opportunities for solopreneuring are better than ever. The better news is that solopreneuring prevents “collective dumbness” whereby a group of reasonably intelligent people come together, engage in group think, and make really bad decisions.

Let’s remember, a solopreneur is not truly working for herself. But a solopreneur better know exactly what she is working for and better have a plan for getting it.

Have you got what it takes to engage in some solopreneuring? (You may not have to – or want to – quit your “day j0b.” We’ll explore this in the workshop sponsored by P.V.A.E.C. on Tuesday, March 6th at SeDoMoCha in Dover Foxcroft. You can register online or call 564-6525. The cost is only $10… and it will be fast-paced and fun!

Maine Life, Personal Growth

When I Was Their Age…

January 23, 2012 Walter Leave a comment

I was going to start this by wondering if you could stand another post about dictionaries… and then I realized, it really isn’t! The background is that I recently wrote an article for The Dictionary Project Newsletter and have had several nice comments on it. It was some of the comments that made me realize I didn’t just write about dictionaries–I wrote about the relationship between schools, volunteers, teachers, students, parents–that wonderful conglomeration of people who make up the community.

And in a strange irony, I had a short but wonderful conversation today with a third grader who recognized how a quilt is like a community… you find lots of different things and put them all together to form a pattern that is both many things and one thing. It also ends up being quite colorful and pleasing to the eye.

So in a larger sense, I wrote about communities and expectations and communication and working together. To see if you agree, check out “When I Was ~~There~~ Their Age…”

Okay… now how bad is that? They’re are differences between there, their and they’re! And I really do know what they are! Technology got me on this one… because I made the mistake, saw the mistake… but the automatic send happened before I could edit out the mistake! So there’s another advantage of subscribing to this… the odds of seeing my mistakes are higher! (For those who didn’t get the emailed version, I made the mistake in the title too.)

Learning, Personal Growth

Ask Somebody!

January 4, 2012 Walter Leave a comment

For a number of years I’ve been conducting dictionary presentations with third graders. There’s a point at which I ask the kids, “What do we do if we come to a word we don’t know?”

Historically, the kids have pretty much unanimously replied, “Look it up!” (The pile of dictionaries behind me is probably a clue that helps them with the answer.)

Well, this year I was a bit surprised to hear a few kids say, “Ask somebody!” This in spite of the prominent pile of dictionaries.

And then today I learn about a project whereby Amazon.com has hired some folks from Quorus–a service that is adding a “social dimension” to online shopping. Say you are shopping for a gift and are having trouble deciding. The Quorus program would allow you to “discuss” the purchase (online) with other members of the family both in real time (chat) and offline.

Imagine being able to ask all of your friends online, “Will these pants make my butt look big?”

As if to reaffirm this trend, when I was getting instruction regarding my newly aquired SmartPhone, the representative pointed out that “the best thing to do when you are looking at an ‘ap’ is to see what the reviews (other people) have said about it.” Yep, that sounds like “ask somebody” to me! Instead of researching the developer and the features of the ap, I’m supposed to count stars I guess. (Actually, I do read reviews–but that’s only one component of the research.)

Surely we could spend days discussing the ramifications of this trend. I’ll bet if we involved Madam DeFarge she’d opine, “It’s the best of times; it’s the worst of times.”

My relationship with technology is at times tenuous, although I confess I have personified my GPS and will occasionally argue with her, but often rely on her. “Greta says that I’ll be arriving in 45 minutes…” In practice, I’ve asked Greta (her last name is Garmin) how long the trip will take. So far, I remain convinced I’m still smarter than she is.

Let’s set aside the question of whether or not this is all good stuff. (Personally, I like seeing kids looking up things in the dictionary instead of asking somebody. I also still have arguments with Greta when she tries to make me take a turn that doesn’t make sense. Suffice it to say, asking somebody is not a substitute for using our brains.)

One of the questions this does raise… Where are we going to learn the social (media) graces? To wit, if I bump into you at the bank in Dover Foxcroft, I’m probably not going to show you a picture of what I had for breakfast. For that matter, if you invite me to lunch, I’m probably not going to whip out my (yet unnamed) SmartPhone to ask people what looks good on the menu.

Whaddya think?

Don’t say, “I’m not sure, let me ask somebody.”