Category Archives: Personal Growth

Thanks, Julia!

Seven years ago, Julia had the fine distinction of being the youngest and smallest driver in a special class of oxen pulling I watched. It was both entertaining and impressive. I snapped some photos and wrote an article in the hopes people would appreciate her skill and accomplishment.

Over the years since, I’ve always kept an eye out for her whenever I attend a pulling. So even though we only had one day to take in the Fryeburg Fair this year, much of it was spent sitting on the bleachers in the pulling barn and wandering through the barns where oxen were kept for viewing.

About halfway through Barn 15, I was a bit surprised to see that article and the photos I took laminated and stapled to a post near several teams. I scribbled a note on the back of a business card and tucked it into the article. “We are only here for the day… hope to bump into you!”

And we did—although our conversation took place leaning over the rail between the stands and “pit”  between events. We met Grandpa Steve first—he assured us that Julia is, in fact, still driving oxen and horses. He pointed out that she’s still on the petite side, so when she arrives home from school, he must harness the horses for her, but then she’s off breaking trails in the winter and helping him with chores. She’s also managing fourteen beehives in her spare time.

Dad and Mom soon joined our conversation. That’s when I learned how that pull seven years ago changed the face of pulling at fairs by demonstrating that kids (youth—not necessarily preschoolers) could safely manage teams. I confess hearing that made me feel a bit smug because the conclusion of that article was “Never underestimate a kid.”

Julia, age 11, points the way–in more ways than one!

Maybe another truth is “never underestimate the power of words.” While it was Julia and not my words that changed pulling at fairs, I am proud and humbled that those words I wrote seven years ago had significant meaning to Julia’s family. And who knows how many others? A lot of people were at the Fryeburg Fair. I want to think a few stopped to read the article stapled to the post. Apparently, the family found meaning in those words, and I gather the words travel with them to fairs.

It is equally apparent that Julia is a kid who would be easy to underestimate. She has a lot going on for her in terms of enthusiasm and determination. That’s just as apparent as it was seven years ago. Like many kids, it’s easy to be surprised by their potential. We didn’t get to watch her pull—that wasn’t happening until later in the week–but we did enjoy watching her serve as hitcher for her grandfather. Her parents were only too happy to share some of her many accomplishments. Julia also has achieved a rite of passage—during a pull a while back, she and her team broke a yoke. That demonstration of power is an achievement for both the team and the teamster.

While discussing Julia’s beehives, her Dad noted that Julia considers anything her grandfather does as “good.” Based on the way he said it, I think it falls into the category of an “open secret”—something everyone knows but doesn’t acknowledge openly.  

When Julia arrived during our conversation, she of course had no idea who I was. She also didn’t realize how important she’s become to me. So, if she reads this, she’ll now know an “open secret.” I think a lot of her and admire her greatly!

You see, I drove to Fryeburg as much out of necessity as want. There’s been too much talk and thought about some “new normal” that seems to be about uncertainty with an unhealthy dose of pessimism stirred in. I needed to “center” and experience something reassuring and optimistic.  I needed to be reminded that some things are certain, including the energy and enthusiasm of the kids we tend to underestimate. We often lament the world that we are going to leave for them and, in so doing, forget they will likely be better at managing it than we have been. For that reminder, thanks, Julia.

Julia leads the way at age 4.



Don’t just sit there! Write!

If you write something, that makes you a writer, right? One day while substitute teaching “language arts,” a sixth-grader objected to the activity by claiming, “I am not a writer.” I walked to her desk and instructed her to open her writing journal to a blank page. “Now write the sentence ‘I am not a writer.'” After she followed my instruction I said, “So now you are a writer because you just wrote something.”

She gave me that “you’ve got to be kidding” look that pre-teens develop to perfection. My next prompt was “Now write another sentence telling me why you’re not a writer.” It took a few return visits to her desk to get her pencil moving in part because she wanted to prove me wrong. Plus it would have been more fun to stare off into space thoughtfully. But that wouldn’t be writing. After a couple of visits and sentences, her pencil seemed to develop a mind of its own. As I recall, she wrote an impassioned piece about how much she hated writing.I still wonder if she saw the irony.

A recent blog post by Seth Godin suggests “There is no such thing as writer’s block.” That set me to thinking big time, particularly since I love the opportunity to get kids writing. They learn all to quickly to claim they have “writer’s block.” I’m not too sympathetic.

Merriam Webster defines writer’s block as a “psychological inhibition.” For those of us who love language and words, there’s an opportunity here. “You don’t have writer’s block! You have a psychological inhibition!”

You have to love how serious that sounds.

But the good news is you can be your own therapist. If that weren’t the case, I’d open a posh retreat center with in-depth programs and support programs for “writers who are suffering from psychological inhibitions.” Attending would be very expensive.

Do enough bad writing and some good writing is bound to show up.

Seth Godin

Isn’t that comforting? We can enjoy our writer’s block by making it a serious psychological inhibition. It won’t take much “googling” to discover a long list of reasons and explanations for those dreaded issues.

Or we can write. Yes, it might be bad writing at first, but you can’t improve on a blank page. Well, that’s not 100% true. You improve on a blank page by getting words on it.

No thinking – that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is… to write, not to think!

Finding Forrester

That is one of the most freeing bits of advice I’ve ever seen about writing. No, writing isn’t always easy. But it can be simple.

Write. Just write.

More of Life’s Lessons

Well, Anina is at it again. In her most recent email, she introduced her “Uncle Walter” and my recent post about her. She thinks it’s pretty cool that she’s been quoted but quickly adds, “I’m just a bit flattered. Mom said there is a Bible verse that says, ‘The meek shall inherit the earth.’ So I’m trying to be meek.”

We ought to consider following her example and work on trying to be meek. Our society would benefit immensely from a better balance between meekness and self-confidence. I think Anina is already learning that those two qualities are not mutually exclusive. That’s pretty good for someone who just turned four months old.

How are you doing with it?

I have some more good news about Anina. Her Mom is posting her emails as episodes on Kindle Vella. This is a fairly new platform that I won’t pretend to be intimately familiar with. (Does that qualify as being meek?) You can read Anina’s first four episodes (emails) for free, then you buy very affordable tokens to “unlock” the others. I suspect Anina might explain, “A girl’s gotta eat, you know.”

Episode One is “1st Days on Planet Earth,” And starts when she’s ten days old. She explains that she decided to keep a journal so she’d remember what it was like being an infant. When she arrives home (day 3), she realizes she’s been there before because she remembers hearing things but is seeing things for the first time. That results in another bit of Anina Wisdom.

The world is a slightly different place when you see it from the outside.

Anina Mary

We do learn a lot from her, including the derivation and correct pronunciation of her name. I also learned that we share several important opinions of the world.

So… remember that you can subscribe to receive Anina’s emails and catch up on the ones you’ve missed on Kindle Vella. Tell her Uncle Walter sent you. Anina recently learned that an educator is someone who “talks to us about things we don’t know anything about.” I wonder how long it will be before she realizes she is an educator.

Life’s Lessons

I am proud to proclaim I have a new friend. She’s now calling me “Uncle Walter.” We haven’t met in person and we’ve really only communicated through her Mom, but I love the way she thinks.

Let me explain. Anina is, by my count, 17 weeks old. Her Mom, Katrina Hoover Lee, is a writer. We first met when I read her book, From the White House to the Amish. Shortly after Anina was born, I started receiving emails written by Anina. Well, obviously that’s not quite accurate.

Or maybe it is. Mom is an excellent writer. More importantly, she has an amazing ability to “channel” Anina. When I read those emails, it’s easy to forget it’s not actually Anina doing the typing.

I love the way kids think, so I love the way Anina thinks. We could learn a lot by getting into their small heads. They may be little people but they really do have big brains. That’s how my book came about. Thanks to Anina, I’m discovering that even really small people have a lot to offer. I look forward to her emails and love seeing the world through her eyes.

When I look at my new sign I find myself smiling and realizing that some lessons really aren not fun to learn. I also find myself, like Anina, questioning things, hopefully with her childish innocence and curiosity. I’d like to think we are kindred spirits. She is seeing so many things for the very first time. I’m trying to see some things with a fresh set of eyes. She’s a big help with that. It’s fun and helpful to think like a five-month-old.

If you’re interested in what Anina is thinking, visit her Mom’s website. Anina isn’t posting yet, so you’ll need to sign up to receive her emails. There’s a subscribe link right at the top. You can also check out some of the books Mom’s written. (I’m pressing for a future book that’s a collection of Anina’s emails–“Anina’s Wisdom.” ) Tell her Uncle Walter sent you.

Stones and Stories

Memorial Day, 2021

This Memorial Day is, like all Memorial Days, unlike any other. I am disturbed, perhaps even troubled, over the lack of tradtional activities–not the barbecues but the parades and related traditions.

I am, however, managing to maintain a few of my own. I will post the colors at the end of the driveway. I think I’ve actually found a small parade and celebration fairly close by to attend this morning. And, last night, I spent some time reflecting on the meaning of this important day. That personal tradition also includes some study of events past and commemoration of them.

Somewhat by accident, this year I spent some time virtually visiting the Normandy American Cemetery. One of the tours I took was a YouTube History Traveler Episode 54. In it, the cemetery is described as ” …a humbling place that is the final resting place for some of the best men that the U.S. has ever produced.”

That’s something to think about.

Some trivia about the cemetery includes the fact it contains the graves of 45 pairs of brothers (30 of which buried side by side), a father and his son, an uncle and his nephew, 2 pairs of cousins, 3 generals, 4 chaplains, 4 civilians, 4 women, 147 African Americans, and 20 Native Americans. 307 unknown soldiers are also buried among the other service members. The most recent count suggests there are 9,388 laid to rest there.

Perhaps, more accurately, there is nothing trivial about this place. There are some 9,388 stones representing 9,388 stories. Today is a day to remember those stories. We know that Tony A. Frank was from Louisiana, his unit, and the fact he gave his life on Christmas Day, 1944. In some ways, it’s not much of a story. There’s not much room on those white Lasa marble headstones. But in other ways, it’s a big story–an important story because if Tony hadn’t been and hadn’t done what he did, our lives would be very different today. There should be room in our heads and hearts to wonder about him and his family. What was in his heart and head that brought him to this place? This day is not meant to memorialize his death or the deaths of so many like him. It is to remember their lives.

And it’s a good day to wonder what we might find in our hearts and heads if we faced a similar challenge? Perhaps we do. There are many unmarked battlefields.

At the core, the American citizen soldiers knew the difference between right and wrong, and they didn’t want to live in a world in which wrong prevailed. So they fought, and won, and we, all of us, living and yet to be born, must be forever profoundly grateful.

Author Stephen Ambrose