Category Archives: Personal Growth

Hearts, heads, hands

No thinking – that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is… to write, not to think!

Forrester, in the movie “Finding Forrester” while mentoring Jamal

A posted comment on something I wrote recently seemed to imply the commenter was a bit envious of what she referred to as my “gift for ideas and writing.” What is this gift and where does it come from?

I believe we are all “gifted” in the sense that as human beings we have abilities and potential that we under-estimate too often. That includes the ability to generate ideas and the ability to write.

The movie “Finding Forrester” is the story of a young prodigy (Jamal) who finds a colorful but reclusive mentor (Forrester). Their relationship is a bit turbulent with some interesting twists but it’s a great film, perhaps especially for writers. When writing, I often turn to the advice Forrester gives Jamal. I’ve always loved the idea that a writer should write the first draft with his heart without much thinking. “Punch the keys, for God’s sake!” he tells Jamal.

Jamal’s story makes the point that we get better by doing things. “The first key to writing is… to write, not to think!” Punching the keys is about enthusiasm and passion. Sometimes acting enthusiastically at first evokes that enthusiasm.

I remember well teaching a writing unit to some fifth graders a few years ago. We were doing what is called “free write” — when the assignment is to simply write. The topic doesn’t matter. The work is not graded–the purpose of the unit is only to make writing take place. One of my students was truly suffering writer’s block, convinced she couldn’t think of anything to write about.

“Just write,” I told her. She stared at me blankly as though I didn’t hear her explanation. “Put the pencil on the paper… just write random words as they come to mind… see where those words take you…” I offered. Some might say I was channeling Forrester but I also know this is a technique that works because, in part, you stop thinking about the fact you can’t think of anything. When I returned to check on her later, I found she’d started an excellent horror story and was quite excited. Once her hand got moving her brain and heart followed–or perhaps more accurately, took over. Let me make it clear, this is a story of her success–not mine.

How different is writing from any other possibly underdeveloped skill? Too often we get focused on what we can’t do and our head starts controlling our hearts and hands. Sometimes we just need to start doing until our head and heart follow. Sometimes we need to let our heart lead until our head and hands follow our passion. Perhaps the definition of “gifted” is merely a matter of those moments when the heart, hands, and head start working together.

Duty, Honor, Country

Memorial Day has always been one of my favorite holidays. Not because it’s a three-day weekend that typically marks the beginning of summer. But because it’s a holiday that encourages remembering and reflection.

Some of those memories are pleasant. Among my favorites are sharing (to the degree a six-year-old can) Memorial Day preparations with my Dad. There was so much to do and it started well before the day itself. Grandfather’s grave site always needed tending… his flag holder needed painting and there were geraniums to plant. When all was ready, Dad would stand at the foot of the grave in his Navy Uniform and gave his very best salute. It seemed to me a long salute, not the sharp, snappy kind. I still wonder what Dad was thinking about his father and this soldier we were honoring.

Over sixty-five years later I find myself reading of another visit to a cemetery by another veteran. This veteran was visiting a military cemetery in Normandy–a place he’d been 75 years ago. Instead of a salute, he suggested visitors “place your hand on the marble cross and realize there is a young boy six feet beneath you who gave his life for you. Then raise your head and see the other 9,400 crosses.”

In a strange irony, shortly after reading that I was reminded of General Douglas MacArthur’s farewell speech to West Point Cadets.

You are the leaven which binds together the entire fabric of our national system of defense. From your ranks come the great captains who hold the nation’s destiny in their hands the moment the war tocsin sounds. The Long Gray Line has never failed us. Were you to do so, a million ghosts in olive drab, in brown khaki, in blue and gray, would rise from their white crosses thundering those magic words – Duty – Honor – Country.

General Douglas MacArthur

It’s a sobering thought. I’d like to think the General wouldn’t mind if I suggest every one of us has a somewhat similar responsibility.

In war or peace, we each hold our nation’s destiny in our hands–indeed we hold the world’s destiny in our hands. And if we fail, a million ghosts… will rise from their white crosses to remind us “Duty — Honor — Country.”


Read the entire text of MacArthur’s Farewell Speech.

Listen to MacArthur’s Farewell Speech on YouTube

Here Comes the Judge! Again!

The first time was about six years ago in my book . In Chapter 13 I touched on the occasions when the kids at school try to enlist me as judge and jury to settle a dispute. I offer one example and admit that my solution to it was based on “a bit of laziness and lack of desire to don a judge’s robe.”

The kids tell me I have a pretty effective “teacher look.” I’m now working on my “judge’s look.”

Handing the case (problem or question) over to the judge can be alluring for many reasons and it’s not just the kids who do it. When I teach real estate courses I am often barraged with questions that start with “What if…?” With kids and adults, there are some obvious undercurrents. The kids’ questions are usually relative to what’s fair and sometimes are instructions. “Make her stop!” “He’s not playing fair!” The adults are looking for the right answer–usually to a subtle and sometimes legal question.

For at least as many years as the book’s been published, I have deflected many legal questions in real estate classes by including the observation, “If anyone finds a reasonably priced judge’s robe, buy it for me. I’ll reimburse you for it. Then I can slip it on when I’m asked these sort of questions and act all-knowing and certain while I pronounce my verdict.”

Well, it finally happened. At a recent Associate Broker Workshop a student showed up with a “surprise” for me, proudly presenting me with a black robe–and no expectation of reimbursement. I of course modeled it at the beginning of the workshop. It got a lot of laughs. It also reminded me of how thoughtful students often are. Most importantly, I now carry it in my “teaching kit” and plan to make it a visual aid.

See, I think acting as judge and teacher are actually often a conflict of interest. In a learning environment, when students give the teacher too much authority they may not think and all they really learn is the judge’s (teacher’s) opinion. I also have a rule in my adult classes that you’re not allowed to use the phrase “Walter said in class…” For one thing, I find I’m often misquoted. For another, you are suggesting you only learned what I said. I’d rather hear you say, “I learned in class…” I want to teach you to think, not quote the teacher.

The fact that things seem complicated or complex doesn’t mean we should let someone else do our thinking for us. I’m reasonably certain the world is round–or at least approximately so. But if a kid asks me I’m likely to reply with questions. “What do you think? How can we find out? What have you learned about that so far?”

While the power that goes with the judge’s robe is tempting, another thing I like about not wearing it is I can teach subjects I know almost nothing about. I once substituted for a second-year high school Spanish class. The kids knew me. As they were getting seated one called out, “Mr. Boomsma, do you even know Spanish?”

There was no hesitation when I answered, “No I do not. But I do know how to teach it. Let’s get started.”

So while I am profoundly grateful to Carole Scott Gartley of Brad Carter Real Estate for the robe and her thoughtfulness, I probably won’t be wearing it too much–just to get some laughs and make a point.

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself 
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go… “


― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

Last call!?

If you’ve been watching the weather forecast, you may think this is your last call to rush to the store for bread and milk. The forecast here at Abbot Village Press’s World Headquarters is calling for “10 to 15 inches” of snow.

But I’m actually making a last call for a couple of real estate courses I will be starting soon. Both will have workshops in Augusta.

The Sales Agent Course Workshops are held on four consecutive Saturdays beginning on March 2, 2019. This the course you need if you want to get started in real estate. Since there’s some online work you must complete prior to the first workshop, you’ll need to register PDQ (pretty darn quick). You can do that here!

The Associate Broker Course Workshops are held on four consecutive Fridays beginning on March 1, 2019. This is for those who are currently licensed as Sales Agents and it too includes some online work you must complete prior to the first workshop so register soon. You can do that here!

There are, of course, additional options and opportunities… you can always . And if you have questions you can always send me an email.

There’s life after real estate! Check the teaching schedule for Substitute Teacher and Suicide Prevention Workshops… Think spring! Think learning! Think!

Got Milk? Got bread?

On Friday, I assured the cashier at the grocery store I was there just to pick up a few things, not because of the storm forecast. Things were busy so we couldn’t have a long conversation but it would have been an interesting one.

Folks started worrying about the storm coming on Sunday nearly a week before it was predicted. I’d started receiving emails from students of adult courses starting a week after the storm. “What happens when it snows?” I was tempted to reply, “The ground turns white.”

Maybe age creates perspective or at least some relative “mellowness.” I tend not to worry too much about some things. I’m not bragging. Some might say I’m apathetic. But worrying about a forecasted snowstorm isn’t a priority for me. I like the idea that we each have a worry box that will only hold so much. So when something gets added something else gets taken out.

That’s meant to demonstrate that worrying is ultimately about choices and priorities. If I’m going to worry about this storm, I’ll need to stop worrying about something else… or at least move that something else down the priority list while I run to the store for bread and milk.

While considering this, it was strangely ironic that Seth Godin’s daily blog post included the observation, “Run out of chocolate, and that’s a shame. Run out of oxygen and you’re doomed.”


“Run out of chocolate, and that’s a shame. Run out of oxygen and you’re doomed.”

Seth Godin

Perspective—there are times when it needs to rise to a level of consciousness. As the storm started, one Facebook post that caught my eye was by a mom who had picked up her kids from an activity. She was announcing how bad the roads were. A friend commented, “Be careful but get home quickly before it gets worse.” She replied that she and the kids were headed home but needed to stop at the store first. I wondered why. Was it for bread and milk?

While it’s become a joke, people do try to make sure they don’t run out of bread and milk by “stocking up” when a storm is predicted.  

While it makes sense to plan and prevent, Abraham Lincoln is alleged to have observed that he’d crossed a lot of bridges in his life but he never crossed one before he came to it. I wonder, if he was alive today, would he rush to the store for bread and milk if a storm was forecast?

If we’re stuck in the house and can’t get to the store for a day or two how bad will life be if we run out of bread and milk? If we do, it will be a shame. But we won’t be doomed.

Worry can be positive because it protects us as long as we keep our worry in perspective. But we do well when we understand that worry is an emotion or feeling. Our feelings can affect how we think. But how we think also can affect how we feel.

There’s a third component to consider. The “doing” component. We are perfectly imperfect human beings so the thinking, feeling, doing stuff tends to overlap and can get complicated. One of my fundamental beliefs is that because we are human beings we have the magnificent ability to get the three components working together.

At school, when we want the kids to engage in what’s called “higher levels of thinking,” we’ll sometimes say, “Let’s put our thinking caps on.” The kids then join the teacher in placing an imaginary hat firmly on their heads, then pretending to buckle the chin strap. Unfortunately, we seem to stop using the technique after second or third grade.

When we start running it’s easy to forget to think. We might end up letting our emotions get the best of us. That will impact how we think and what we do. You’ve heard of people being paralyzed by fear. How far are the emotions of worry and fear separated?

So today is Sunday and the weather outside is frightful. Most of the churches have announced no services today. Emergency services folks are encouraging us to stay home. Even the local McDonald’s is closed—is that scary? I’ll bet it will be even more difficult than usual to order a pizza to be delivered.

But it might just be a good day to spend some time considering how you think, feel, and do about things. I hope you’ll discover the possibilities. There are a lot of things we can’t do because of this storm. But there are a lot of things we can do, too. We could worry about tomorrow, particularly if we’re low on bread and milk. Just remember, that’s a choice.