All posts by Walter

Causes and Friends, Just for Fun, Personal Growth, School Programs, Teaching

It’s that time of year!

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The holidays are a great time to say “thank you!” I’ve enjoyed your confidence and friendship this past year and it is satisfying to know that a lot of people have achieved success as a result of our work together. As we near the start of a new year, this is also a great time to look back and ahead with an annual update.

You’ll recall last year I announced my intention to increase the emphasis on the training and education aspects of my work. I also announced that I would be substitute teaching kindergarten through grade six at Piscataquis Community Elementary School.

A few weeks ago a fourth grader came to “my” classroom to visit after a day of subbing. In the course of chatting he informed me that “pre-k and kindergarten” were the best years of his life. When I asked why he replied “Because there wasn’t really that much I had to do…” I managed not to chuckle.

I suppose it could be considered cool that at nine or ten years old (going on forty) he’s figured out what’s important to him, but I really want to tell him “the best is yet to come.” At least that’s been true for me—while my life has been good, I can’t recall a period of time that was more fun and more satisfying than these years I am now living.

A big achievement this past year was the release of my book, . In the obligatory about the author section, I noted, “I’ve effectively started a new career as a substitute elementary school teacher. The kids haven’t run out of things to teach me. They may be small people, but they really do have big brains.”

In support of the book and my future direction, this year I created “Abbot Village Press,” with the idea that we’ll be “Maine’s number one publisher in Maine’s number one town” by publishing books and blogs with purpose. Several publishing projects come to mind and I suspect there will be a volume two of Small People—Big Brains. Perhaps I should issue a warning: “I’m a writer. Anything you do or say may be used in a future article or book.”

I have, of course, continued to offer real estate courses in association with the Arthur Gary School of Real Estate. Class enrollments continue to climb. This may well reflect a growing confidence in the future of real estate. While it’s not a focus, I also continue my affiliation with Mallett Real Estate and work with select clients on a somewhat limited basis. Do not hesitate to contact me if you are going to be involved in a real estate transaction as a buyer or seller.

This past fall, the Piscataquis Valley Adult Education Cooperative invited me to develop and teach one day classes for others who want to substitute teach! The class was offered in Milo and Guilford and we will be repeating it in January in Dover Foxcroft and Dexter. RSU 19 Adult Education (Nokomis) has asked me to offer several courses. I’m also having a lot of fun helping out with the  designed to connect middle and high school kids with community resources and individuals who will help them explore career options.

One of the stories that didn’t make it into the book happened a few years ago when a second grader became exasperated with me and said, “Mr. Boomsma, you need to focus.” It helps if you picture her with hands on the sides of her face mimicking the blinders horses wear. At the time, I thought I was very busy. She rightly recognized I wasn’t busy. I just wasn’t doing such a good job of handling multiple priorities. (You can  on this site.)

Unfortunately, I’ve lost a cartoon I had that showed a fish climbing out of a lake and saying to an animal standing on the shore, “Outta my way, pal. I’m evolving.” I’d like to think that while these are some very good years, the best is yet to come. I’m evolving!

Thanks for your confidence and support. Have a meaningful holiday and a new year filled with health, happiness, and prosperity — make these the best years of your life! Evolve!

Merry Christmas,

(aka “Mr. Boomsma”)

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That Can’t Be Right!

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“Few of us take the pains to study the origin of our convictions; indeed, we have a natural repugnance to so doing. We like to continue to believe what we have been accustomed to accept as true, and the resentment aroused when doubt is cast upon any of our assumptions leads us to seek every manner of excuse for clinging to them. The result is that most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do.” – James Harvey Robinson

"A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."
“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

In educational circles, we call what is described above as cognitive dissonance–a well documented and generally accepted phenomena. On the negative side, it can prevent us from positive change and learning. The most often cited example involves smokers who continue to smoke in spite of relatively objective and convincing evidence of the health hazards. After all, grandpa smoked a pack a day, and he lived to be 95. We alter information to support our behavior and existing beliefs.

But this is when the bad news is also the good news. On the positive side cognitive dissonance allows us to hold fast to our beliefs even in the face of adversity. I recently made the error of engaging in what I thought would be a healthy exchange with another blogger. He’d made some comments about public education that I did not agree with–not a problem, really. But when I challenged what he said the dialog deteriorated rapidly with him steadfastly refusing to answer my questions or address my concerns with statements he’d made. The shame of it was it could have been an interesting discussion.

My “agenda” was to defend public education–not that I think it is perfect by a long shot. But it is the system we have and in spite of a number of flaws, there’s a fair amount of teaching and learning going on. I’m still not sure what his agenda was, but it included a lot of politics and some diatribes regarding the white majority, inadequate funding due to the “blankity blank” governor of his state, and an implied lack of commitment on the part of teachers. (His original position was that “we” are teaching children myths about society and reality in school.)

What interested me was how each of his attacks raised my hackles, admittedly because he was challenging my beliefs in a way that seemed very unfair. As long as I didn’t get too emotional I could see some sense in what he was representing. But it was clear that his solution to everything that is wrong with public education and the country in general would be fixed if we simply adopted his belief system. Anything he doesn’t believe is a myth.

In one of my responses, I suggested that I believe when I am in a classroom or working with children in any setting, my two primary objectives are to first convince them they are capable of learning and doing. One of my criticisms of the system is that kids get turned off too easily and quickly. My second priority is to make them think–not simply adopt someone else’s beliefs or call someone else’s a myth.

His reply to this was a cynical “How’s that working out for you?” My reply was “Quite well, actually.” And I terminated the exchange. Of course what he isn’t going to hear is my admission that these are not easy tasks. In general kids are more open to exploration, but beliefs form quickly. Even five-year olds have a pretty solid idea of how the world should function–one reason there’s so much tattling in the early grades.

It doesn’t improve with age. Last year I had a fifth grader inform me that he truly hates to read. My initial reaction was “that can’t be right.” He couldn’t defend his belief but that didn’t much matter to him. He just hates to read. This fellow is very likely going to go through life believing he hates to read and any indication to the contrary will evoke the “that can’t be right” response from him. He will likely go on believing that reading is a drudgery to be avoided.

But guess what!? I will go on believing something could happen that will change his feelings about reading. I wish I knew what it was and I wish I could make it happen sooner rather than later. There is little to be gained from blaming his hatred on a myriad of factors–that just reinforces his opinion. But make no mistake, I am going to go on believing that he could and well may learn to enjoy reading.

And between us exists a positive tension–the sort that keeps the world in balance. Heck, given the continued development of technology, he may do quite well in life without ever learning to love reading in the traditional manner. After all, the technology exists for virtual assistants to read to us.

One of the joys of being involved in education is the opportunity to deal in possibilities. In order to deal in possibilities we have to be prepared to challenge beliefs–the beliefs of others and our own.

“A disciple…can never imitate his guide’s steps. You have your own way of living your life, of dealing with problems, and of winning. Teaching is only demonstrating that it is possible. Learning is making it possible for yourself.”

― Paulo Coelh

Causes and Friends, Personal Growth

Helping With Boots…

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Thurgood Marshall is often quoted, “None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by the our bootstraps. We got here because somebody–a parent, a teacher, an Ivy League crony or a few nuns–bent down and helped us pick up our boots.”

Snow angelI think of that quote every time I’m at school with kindergarteners and it’s recess time. Not only do they often need help with their boots, they sometimes need help with zippers and mittens and other winter paraphernalia. I continue to work on my zipper repair skills and have gotten better at pulling on mittens. And while I am certainly charged with encouraging and increasing independence in these little humans, it’s kinda fun to zip up a coat beneath a raised chin and hear, “Thanks, Mr. Boomsma!”

As long as I’m not going outside with them, I usually have a few minutes to stand and watch them clomp down the hall and head outside while I ponder that awesome responsibility we all share. We have to make some pretty tough choices about when and where we draw the line between helping people and enabling and encouraging them to remain independent. It just might be that the asking the question is as important as finding the answer. This isn’t a simple issue whether we’re talking about a five-year old who needs a shoe tied or an adult who’s dealing with a difficult situation.

The holidays bring with them so many things. We of course think of turkeys and shopping a family events… but another topic arises. In some ways it seems incongruous–this is a meaningful, warm and charitable time of year. One would think festive moods would be the order of the day. And yet, for many different reasons many people get a version of the “holiday blues.”

My biases are strong, and one is that we tend to study problems to death, perhaps as a way of avoiding the need to admit we don’t know the answers but at least we’re doing something. At the same time, I believe prescription without diagnosis is malpractice whether it’s medicine or management. So I do not want to be clinical and talk about depression versus the blues versus SAD (seasonal affective disorder). But I do want to share two stories with you.

Many years ago I worked for a large company in an office environment. My sales job required frequent interaction with the customer service department. I still remember one young lady who was a bit moody on occasion. Thankfully, she didn’t self-diagnose from the available list… depressed, SAD, PMS… instead she would warn me to be advised “I’m not having a very good day.” Ah! Bad days! Those I know how to deal with because I’ve had a few myself! I would usually wish her a nice bad day and encourage her to enjoy it as much as possible. Ironically, I would often leave her laughing. If time permitted, I would sometimes give her a call later in the day to see if I could further contribute to her misery. She would tell me I was nuts. In time it became a bit of a game and we’d discuss when I might have a turn. One might say we learned to share bad days.)

Now please understand, I’m not recommending this approach universally. My second story might help explain where we’re headed. I recently listened to a TED talk by a self-admitted “depressed comic.” It was not funny, but it was extremely revealing and helpful, because I understood him to say that most people who want to be helpful to those who are “depressed” are, in fact, anything but. His message to us is that we are often misguided because we aren’t acknowledging the reality of depression. In our effort to “fix” it, we actually make it worse because now we have confirmed the person’s belief that there is something wrong with him or her.

I confess as I thought of my friend from years ago I felt a little smug. It turns out allowing (or even encouraging) her to have a bad day may have actually been the right thing to do!

So, if you find yourself suffering the “holiday blues” and feeling sad I’d like to assure you that it’s okay. To some degree it happens to all of us–it’s part of our human nature. It might even be possible to appreciate it. Now if it goes on and on… or you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper, it might be time to reach out. A challenge you may have is finding the right person. If you find someone who immediately starts trying to make you happy… or suggests you take a pill or some other drastic measure, you just might be barking up the wrong tree.

A good start? Listen to what the depressed comic says because he understands there’s a difference between being sad and being depressed. But more importantly, he understands that acceptance of oneself and acceptance of others is an important component.

“The world I believe in is one where I can look someone in the eye and say, “I’m going through hell,” and they can look back at me and go, “Me too,” and that’s okay, and it’s okay because depression is okay. We’re people. We’re people, and we struggle and we suffer and we bleed and we cry, and if you think that true strength means never showing any weakness, then I’m here to tell you you’re wrong. You’re wrong, because it’s the opposite. We’re people, and we have problems. We’re not perfect, and that’s okay.”

You have got to listen to this guy whether you think you are depressed or not. Because just maybe you’ll have an opportunity this holiday season. You may be the person who’s “going through hell” or you may be the person who meets someone who is. Either way, know that it’s okay to need to help with your boots. It doesn’t mean you’re a baby. I won’t try to say I can remember when I needed help with my boots, but I know there was a time when I did. So I get it when the kids hand me theirs. And I know there are things I face now that at times I need help with because “we’re people, and we have problems. We’re not perfect, and that’s okay.”

Listen to the TED Talk at http://on.ted.com/Breel.

Causes and Friends, Personal Growth, School Programs, Teaching

Combating Bullying…

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Cyber bullyWhile admitting it’s very easy to over-simplify the “national epidemic” referred to as “bullying,” I do want to encourage those with an interest in the topic to read at least this one article. October is National Bullying Prevention Month–a program first introduced in 2006. In spite of all the attention we are giving the problem, most sources will concur the problem is actually increasing. The article will explain that bullying is now the “leading form of child abuse.”

Clearly, becoming more aware of the problem is not having an impact on reducing it. I’m forced to speculate that’s because we are focusing on the problem instead of solutions. One of the things I like about this article is that it is solution-oriented and the solutions proposed are both realistic and achievable.

I’d love to tell you more, but don’t want to be a “spoiler.” Read the article for yourself!