Category Archives: Just for Fun

Am I a Drover?

I’m not sure about that, but I am honored to be included in a photo on the front page of the Midwest Ox Drovers Association!

The photo was taken during my workshop at Tillers International in Michigan. I seem to recall now that included an “honorary” subscription to the MODA Newsletter. I remember this photo well. From left to right are fellow student Julia, her Mom in the back, Instructor Tom, and yours truly–checking my phone for a photo I took of the situation. If you look closely, you will see that Julia and Tom are sitting on one of his oxen. Tom had explained that oxen can serve many purposes. He had the large Brown Swiss (breed, not where they came from) lay down to accommodate them.

A drover is “someone who moves groups of animals, especially cattle or sheep, from one place to another.” So I think it’s fair to say I have been a drover. That was the whole point of attending the workshop. Or so I thought. However, I recently questioned whether it was about driving oxen or communicating with them. But can I consider myself a drover?

I’ve also done my share of herding escaped cows, but if we’re going to be precise, some would suggest that cows are not cattle. There’s no complete agreement, and there are regional differences in terms of use. At least one common distinction is that cows are “girls” and cattle are “boys.” But wait. It’s not that simple.

A female bovine (safe terminology) might be a heifer, not a cow. She’s not a cow until she’s reproduced.

I am suddenly reminded of being with my oldest daughter at a fair when she was still a toddler. As we traipsed through one of the barns, she proclaimed loudly and repeatedly, “Daddy! I know how to tell the boy cows from the girl cows!” I congratulated her but didn’t encourage further discussion. I wasn’t sure I wanted everyone to hear the answer. As only a three-year-old can, she persisted, becoming increasingly loud and demanding. “Do you wanna know how?”

I finally conceded, and she said emphatically, “The boys have rings in their noses.” Her powers of observation were intact, although I’ve never figured out how she drew that conclusion from what she’d seen.

Not all boy cows cattle have rings in their noses, not all boy cattle become steers, and not all steers become oxen. You probably don’t feel a need to know the distinctions. Neither did Bethanie.

At a more recent fair, I saw a young boy running towards some goats, yelling, “Oh look! Sheep!” I can forgive some imprecision in farm vocabulary by non-farmers—I’m sometimes guilty myself—but I was also relieved to hear a parent correct him.

While we’re at it, let’s ensure people know that chocolate milk doesn’t just come from brown cows—well, it might—but from all different colors of cows, including brown. I may not be considered a drover, but I do know a few things about bovines.

Which reminds me. During the workshop, one of the best and most accurate definitions of “oxen” we were given was, “Oxen are bovines with an education.” Sometimes, it’s important to be precise. Sometimes, it’s more important to be simple than to be precise. Both precision and simplicity can be accurate. Choose wisely.

Walter, Occasional Drover

Are We Driving or Communicating?

So, at least in theory, I recently learned how to work with an oxen team. I’d been saying that I was going to learn to drive oxen. Among my many discoveries was that working with oxen is more about communicating with them than driving them.

“Whooooa, Boys!” Notice I am moving the goad in front of them.

I heard one of my instructors say more than once. “You’re confusing them. They don’t know what you want them to do!” Staying focused on communicating was a bigger challenge than it might seem. And at times, it was funny. Mostly though, it was frustrating!

In brief, trained oxen receive information from the teamster in three ways. The first is (or at least should be) spatial—the body position of the teamster. Second is the “goad” or stick and where and how they are touched. The third is verbal. There is some indication that they hear vowels best. So “whoooooa” works better than “whoa.” The best example of confusing them was when I’d say, “Whoa!” but keep walking. (In my mind, it made sense because I wanted to get in front of them. In their bovine minds, I was sending mixed signals.)

Instructor Rob is a school teacher. We had lots of fun making comparisons. One was the comment, “What you’re doing shouts louder than what you’re saying.” You don’t have to work with kids for long before you realize “Do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t work well.

While a 2,000+ pound ox doesn’t engage in what we call “higher levels of reasoning,” the basics are the same. That said, two of the teams I worked with were extremely well-trained. One team of Devons would stand and let me walk some distance away. I could then raise my goad and call, “Right here, boys,” and they would walk to me and stop with their heads on either side of me.

We students had to learn a bit about herd instinct and survival from predators. Rob occasionally reminded us that building trust with the beasts was important. “You may have to convince them you’re not trying to kill them.” Herd instinct requires they accept you as the top ox.

Here’s an interesting comparison. My Ram pickup truck weighs about the same as a large pair of oxen. During Road Trip 2024, I drove that truck over 3,600 miles, mostly by pushing pedals, turning the wheel, and flipping switches. (I’m purposely omitting occasional arguments with the voice feature of the GPS.) The truck doesn’t have a mind of its own or any instincts. It just does what you tell it to do.

Oxen require a bit more understanding and communication than my truck or your car. You can’t just drive them. One of the things I found challenging is the amount of attention required with oxen, particularly when pulling something. There is no cruise control!

Of course, all analogies break down if you press them, but in addition to the joy of working with these large animals, it was great to be reminded of some of the basic truths about effective communication. I’m still processing, but a few important lessons can be learned.

Don’t send mixed messages! If you say “whoa,” stop moving. Remember: “What you are doing is shouting so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying.” Let’s get everything aligned.

Use multiple communication strategies! Oxen expect to be told and shown by position and the goad. With humans, say it, write it, demonstrate it. I’m not suggesting you email someone and ask if they got your text. Texting serves a different purpose than emailing or calling. Chose wisely.

Speak the language of the listener! With oxen, “Come here!” is not the same as “Right here!” Be conscious of buzzwords and implied meanings. Do you want me to do something, or do you need me to do something? Also, oxen can’t talk back. Humans can. Take advantage of that by asking humans what they heard or read.

Use the listener’s name freely! To make a team of oxen turn sharp left, one has to slow down and perhaps stop completelyit’s like driving a bulldozer. You’ll need to tell one ox (by name), “Haw!” and the other (by name), “Whoa!” (The goad and your body position are important. Use multiple communication strategies!)

When we want a team of oxen to do something, good communication is effective. “Driving” is not. Picture grabbing a 2,000-pound animal by the horns and making him stop. It’s not likely to happen. Picture yourself being dragged in the direction the team chooses. It might make for a funny video to post on social media, but it’s not likely to achieve the desired result.

When done correctly, communication is powerful. It beats driving any day once you get the hang of it.

One for the Money

When we first started thinking about a road trip, our divergent thinking had us considering a fifth-wheel camper. Isn’t that what senior citizens do? In 2025, we will celebrate our fiftieth wedding anniversary. I’ve joked that it might be time to consider having kids. But on a more serious note, doing something “different” and celebratory seemed appropriate.

So we started our research. The research got interrupted when I spotted a truck for sale on the Internet at our favorite dealer! Then we were driving by the dealer on a different mission and they were cleaning the snow off it. Coincidence or Karma?

My sister gave me this mug. She obviously knows me.

Fast-forward a bit: We bought the truck. We’d mentioned our anticipated camper purchase. One of the owners said, “You can rent a lot of hotel rooms for what you’ll pay for a camper.” That started the wheels in my head turning almost as fast as those on our 2017 Ram.

One of the things we liked about the camper idea was that it could be a “turtle house.” Now I am a bit obsessive about efficiency, and the idea of a vacation home on wheels seemed to have a lot of advantages. But so do hotel rooms that require no maintenance but include maid service and breakfast bars.

I did a comparison of several planned trips–one version with a camper, the other at hotels. There truly wasn’t much difference in cost. (Your results may vary–it depends on how you like to travel.) The big financial factor becomes that we’d be paying for the camper even when not using it.

One benefit of simulating our trips was facing the reality that campers mean work. Some experienced fifth wheelers suggest that set up and pack up take at least an hour each. So our travel days would include 5-6 hours of driving, followed by at least an hour of setting up. Then comes supper. The next morning we would spend an hour packing up and repeat the process again.

Our financial advisor loves to remind us that–at our age–the two most important words are “comfort and fun.” Climbing on top of a fifth wheel to sweep off the slide-outs and disconnecting a sewer hookup does not qualify in my book.

Photo of our 217 Ram

The more good news is that we discovered that the Ram is a great travel vehicle and the cap makes it even more so! (More to come about that in “Three to Get Ready.”) The cap that would have to go if we wanted to install a hitch is now a big plus!

I should add that we are experimenting with VRBOs during Road Trip 2024. Oh! Did I mention that we decided not to wait until 2025 to make our big trip? Two for the Show!

One for the money is the start of a children’s nursery rhyme dating back to the 1800’s. “One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!”

Previews of Coming Attractions

When I talk (every chance I get) about the workshop I’m going to attend this summer, my listening victim often orders, “Take pictures!” Well, someone did at the one held in June.

I’ve also received the “curriculum” for the workshop. The primary instructor also happens to teach high school, so my educator mindset is comfortable with how things will unfold. At the risk of bragging, I was also pleased at how much of the content I’m familiar with after years of watching ox pulls.

Stay tuned!

Weird But Happy Hearts

“Don’t ever be ashamed of loving the strange things that make your weird little heart happy.”

Elizabeth Gilbert

I suppose it goes with the territory of “aging,” but for some reason, this past week, I noticed some strange things that make me happy. One was stumbling onto Elizabeth’s quote and realizing my heart is weird.

One thing that’s making me happy is my email inbox is approaching a record low of under 100 emails. The delete button is showing signs of wear. That also makes me happy.

Late yesterday afternoon I went to Nightengale’s Dairy to pick up milk. I always stop to say “thanks” to the girls and scratch the interested ones behind the ears and under the chin. Seeing them look expectantly at the truck when I drive in makes me happy. I like to think seeing the truck makes them happy.

If I seem a bit obsessed with bovines, I can offer “We’re Already Here” as an explanation that a summer road trip to Michigan includes a four-day commitment to learning how to train and drive a team of oxen. That will make my weird little heart happy.

Speaking of cows, my Amish friend Rachel in Pennsylvania made a sign for us: “Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy cows. Cows give milk. Ice cream is made from milk. Ice cream makes me happy.” We gifted it to a friend who loves cows even more than I do, but I think I love ice cream more than she does.

And speaking of Amish, I love my occasional visits with my Swartzentruber friends in Corinth. During a recent stop, the boys and I compared suspenders. It started when they found mine with clips fascinating (weird?). It became a bit of a “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” Their suspenders come from a harness maker, are made from leather, and button inside their trousers. That we can share our differences makes my weird little heart happy.

The oldest boy just finished his first year of school, so he now speaks English well, although his Mom had to help us with the word horse–“paard” in Pennsylvania Dutch. I like to think we are learning to celebrate–to love–our sometimes strange differences.

After all, we don’t all love the same kind of ice cream.