Tag Archives: Maine Life

Causes and Friends, Mental Health, Mental Hygiene, Personal Growth

While you’re washing…

1 Comment

I’m chuckling a bit at the number of posts and emails that include the reminder to “wash your hands.” Since it’s likely that most folks are remembering that task, I have a different reminder for you. While washing your hands, consider using the same 20 seconds to “wash” your head and heart.

While some may question whether or not we are overestimating the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, I’m concerned that we are underestimating the mental and emotional impact. Therefore, I’m recommending we engage in some “mental and emotional hygiene” to accompany the physical.

This is truly a catastrophic event with a lot of uncertainty. What makes it different than most is that it’s gone on for a while now and is very likely to continue. It is very easy to get focused on the “problem” and the uncertainties. Before we know it, we find ourselves feeling anxious and perhaps depressed.

We may not be able to solve the problem or correct all the uncertainties but we can change how we are thinking about them. When we get caught in the wrong focus we are no longer problem-solving, we are just chewing on the problem. (Guy Winch calls this “ruminating”–more about that later.)

Since it’s easy to end up there, I’m suggesting we let our physical hygiene practice remind us to do some emotional hygiene. While washing our hands, let’s remember to do a quick check of our state of mind. Over the past few days, I’ve found it necessary to do just that! During those 20 seconds, we can remind ourselves that we may need to boost our own self-esteem and remind ourselves that humans have come through many catastrophes, trials, and tribulations. We’ll get through this.

This is sometimes achieved through “centering” — a technique for remaining grounded, calm and relaxed in the face of stress. We may not be able to control the world around us but we can manage ourselves. While most people wouldn’t associate handwashing with centering, some simple techniques include deep breathing, meditation, music, and distraction. Different things work for different people, so you may choose to experiment. At a minimum, every time you wash up, remember to lighten up. Take a few deep breaths and look at the world differently.

Five Ways to Improve Your Emotional Health is an excellent article in Psychology Today by Guy Winch. It’s a quick read and doesn’t include any clinical mumbo jumbo. It also includes a link to his TED Talk which I highly recommend! There’s also a link to it on the of this website.

Big Brains, Causes and Friends, Communication, Just for Fun, Learning, Small People

Winning by Losing

Leave a comment

A small gaggle of middle school girls approached me somewhat shyly. They know whining isn’t allowed in my classroom but we weren’t at school, we were at the Guilford River Festival. I suspect they also would have claimed what they were doing was actually begging, not whining.

For those who don’t know, the Guilford River Festival is a truly awesome annual event that’s extremely family and kid-friendly. There’s lots of free stuff–my job was to hand out free balloons to kids–and fun stuff. The girls were offering a competition based on a game we sometimes play at school. “Are you smarter than a PCMS student?” They were having trouble getting contestants and begged me to visit their set up and play.

When I arrived, the girls and their game host immediately disappeared to “strategize,” triggering a certain amount of suspicion in my mind. Upon returning, they all had a noticeable “cat that swallowed the canary” look.

The game host explained the rules and process carefully and quickly. I think I heard him say that the game was “only slightly rigged.” I would be competing against the girls but I had the first chance to answer the questions. If I answered the question wrong, they could “take the point” by answering correctly, proving they were smarter.

The questions were of a historical nature and not too difficult but my suspicions were at an all-time high so I thought long and hard before answering. I could almost hear the clock ticking and the music playing. The first question required a date for an answer. When I answered, the game host declared “wrong!” and the girls went into a huddle. After some whispering, the shouted an answer in unison. “Billy Bob!”

“Correct!” Since the audience was small, the girls provided most of the applause.

The second question required a person’s name for an answer and I admitted I was tempted to answer “Billy Bob,” but went with what I was sure was correct. Again, my answer was declared wrong. Again after huddling the girls answered nonsensically and were declared correct.

I suppose some would have felt cheated but I found myself laughing and having fun. Maybe it wasn’t about the questions. Remember, the original question was “Are you smarter than a PCMS student?” It was becoming clear that I was not–they were outsmarting me.

The process continued with the girls winning all the points and me being skunked. It was at that point the game show host indicated I shouldn’t go away empty-handed and presented me with the pictured t-shirt. My response was genuine: “This is definitely worth losing for.”

I may be risking over-analysis but the experience left me not only laughing but also thinking. Winning and losing are words and people give meaning to words–it’s not the other way around. Sometimes we win when we lose. I’ll enjoy that shirt and the memory of losing to a gaggle of giggling girls who did, in fact, outsmart me. So thanks to the girls and Herrick Excavation for hosting and sponsoring the contest I won by losing.