Tag Archives: holidays

It’s that time of year!

The holidays are a great time to say “thank you!” I’ve enjoyed your confidence and friendship this past year and it is satisfying to know that a lot of people have achieved success as a result of our work together. As we near the start of a new year, this is also a great time to look back and ahead with an annual update.

You’ll recall last year I announced my intention to increase the emphasis on the training and education aspects of my work. I also announced that I would be substitute teaching kindergarten through grade six at Piscataquis Community Elementary School.

A few weeks ago a fourth grader came to “my” classroom to visit after a day of subbing. In the course of chatting he informed me that “pre-k and kindergarten” were the best years of his life. When I asked why he replied “Because there wasn’t really that much I had to do…” I managed not to chuckle.

I suppose it could be considered cool that at nine or ten years old (going on forty) he’s figured out what’s important to him, but I really want to tell him “the best is yet to come.” At least that’s been true for me—while my life has been good, I can’t recall a period of time that was more fun and more satisfying than these years I am now living.

A big achievement this past year was the release of my book, Small People—Big Brains: stories about simplicity, exploration and wonder. In the obligatory about the author section, I noted, “I’ve effectively started a new career as a substitute elementary school teacher. The kids haven’t run out of things to teach me. They may be small people, but they really do have big brains.”

In support of the book and my future direction, this year I created “Abbot Village Press,” with the idea that we’ll be “Maine’s number one publisher in Maine’s number one town” by publishing books and blogs with purpose. Several publishing projects come to mind and I suspect there will be a volume two of Small People—Big Brains. Perhaps I should issue a warning: “I’m a writer. Anything you do or say may be used in a future article or book.”

I have, of course, continued to offer real estate courses in association with the Arthur Gary School of Real Estate. Class enrollments continue to climb. This may well reflect a growing confidence in the future of real estate. While it’s not a focus, I also continue my affiliation with Mallett Real Estate and work with select clients on a somewhat limited basis. Do not hesitate to contact me if you are going to be involved in a real estate transaction as a buyer or seller.

This past fall, the Piscataquis Valley Adult Education Cooperative invited me to develop and teach one day classes for others who want to substitute teach! The class was offered in Milo and Guilford and we will be repeating it in January in Dover Foxcroft and Dexter. RSU 19 Adult Education (Nokomis) has asked me to offer several courses. I’m also having a lot of fun helping out with the Piscataquis Secondary School Pirate Specials Program designed to connect middle and high school kids with community resources and individuals who will help them explore career options.

One of the stories that didn’t make it into the book happened a few years ago when a second grader became exasperated with me and said, “Mr. Boomsma, you need to focus.” It helps if you picture her with hands on the sides of her face mimicking the blinders horses wear. At the time, I thought I was very busy. She rightly recognized I wasn’t busy. I just wasn’t doing such a good job of handling multiple priorities. (You can read the entire story on this site.)

Unfortunately, I’ve lost a cartoon I had that showed a fish climbing out of a lake and saying to an animal standing on the shore, “Outta my way, pal. I’m evolving.” I’d like to think that while these are some very good years, the best is yet to come. I’m evolving!

Thanks for your confidence and support. Have a meaningful holiday and a new year filled with health, happiness, and prosperity — make these the best years of your life! Evolve!

Merry Christmas,

(aka “Mr. Boomsma”)

Helping With Boots…

Thurgood Marshall is often quoted, “None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by the our bootstraps. We got here because somebody–a parent, a teacher, an Ivy League crony or a few nuns–bent down and helped us pick up our boots.”

Snow angelI think of that quote every time I’m at school with kindergarteners and it’s recess time. Not only do they often need help with their boots, they sometimes need help with zippers and mittens and other winter paraphernalia. I continue to work on my zipper repair skills and have gotten better at pulling on mittens. And while I am certainly charged with encouraging and increasing independence in these little humans, it’s kinda fun to zip up a coat beneath a raised chin and hear, “Thanks, Mr. Boomsma!”

As long as I’m not going outside with them, I usually have a few minutes to stand and watch them clomp down the hall and head outside while I ponder that awesome responsibility we all share. We have to make some pretty tough choices about when and where we draw the line between helping people and enabling and encouraging them to remain independent. It just might be that the asking the question is as important as finding the answer. This isn’t a simple issue whether we’re talking about a five-year old who needs a shoe tied or an adult who’s dealing with a difficult situation.

The holidays bring with them so many things. We of course think of turkeys and shopping a family events… but another topic arises. In some ways it seems incongruous–this is a meaningful, warm and charitable time of year. One would think festive moods would be the order of the day. And yet, for many different reasons many people get a version of the “holiday blues.”

My biases are strong, and one is that we tend to study problems to death, perhaps as a way of avoiding the need to admit we don’t know the answers but at least we’re doing something. At the same time, I believe prescription without diagnosis is malpractice whether it’s medicine or management. So I do not want to be clinical and talk about depression versus the blues versus SAD (seasonal affective disorder). But I do want to share two stories with you.

Many years ago I worked for a large company in an office environment. My sales job required frequent interaction with the customer service department. I still remember one young lady who was a bit moody on occasion. Thankfully, she didn’t self-diagnose from the available list… depressed, SAD, PMS… instead she would warn me to be advised “I’m not having a very good day.” Ah! Bad days! Those I know how to deal with because I’ve had a few myself! I would usually wish her a nice bad day and encourage her to enjoy it as much as possible. Ironically, I would often leave her laughing. If time permitted, I would sometimes give her a call later in the day to see if I could further contribute to her misery. She would tell me I was nuts. In time it became a bit of a game and we’d discuss when I might have a turn. One might say we learned to share bad days.)

Now please understand, I’m not recommending this approach universally. My second story might help explain where we’re headed. I recently listened to a TED talk by a self-admitted “depressed comic.” It was not funny, but it was extremely revealing and helpful, because I understood him to say that most people who want to be helpful to those who are “depressed” are, in fact, anything but. His message to us is that we are often misguided because we aren’t acknowledging the reality of depression. In our effort to “fix” it, we actually make it worse because now we have confirmed the person’s belief that there is something wrong with him or her.

I confess as I thought of my friend from years ago I felt a little smug. It turns out allowing (or even encouraging) her to have a bad day may have actually been the right thing to do!

So, if you find yourself suffering the “holiday blues” and feeling sad I’d like to assure you that it’s okay. To some degree it happens to all of us–it’s part of our human nature. It might even be possible to appreciate it. Now if it goes on and on… or you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper, it might be time to reach out. A challenge you may have is finding the right person. If you find someone who immediately starts trying to make you happy… or suggests you take a pill or some other drastic measure, you just might be barking up the wrong tree.

A good start? Listen to what the depressed comic says because he understands there’s a difference between being sad and being depressed. But more importantly, he understands that acceptance of oneself and acceptance of others is an important component.

“The world I believe in is one where I can look someone in the eye and say, “I’m going through hell,” and they can look back at me and go, “Me too,” and that’s okay, and it’s okay because depression is okay. We’re people. We’re people, and we struggle and we suffer and we bleed and we cry, and if you think that true strength means never showing any weakness, then I’m here to tell you you’re wrong. You’re wrong, because it’s the opposite. We’re people, and we have problems. We’re not perfect, and that’s okay.”

You have got to listen to this guy whether you think you are depressed or not. Because just maybe you’ll have an opportunity this holiday season. You may be the person who’s “going through hell” or you may be the person who meets someone who is. Either way, know that it’s okay to need to help with your boots. It doesn’t mean you’re a baby. I won’t try to say I can remember when I needed help with my boots, but I know there was a time when I did. So I get it when the kids hand me theirs. And I know there are things I face now that at times I need help with because “we’re people, and we have problems. We’re not perfect, and that’s okay.”

Listen to the TED Talk at http://on.ted.com/Breel.

2012 — Keep going!

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

We have Winston Churchill to thank for that pearl of wisdom. There’s also a Yiddish Proverb that suggests “Bygone troubles are good to tell.” Good stuff to think about as we prepare to end one year and begin another.

Many people will attempt to wax eloquent on occasions such as this–odd, in a way because all we’re really doing is changing one digit at the end of the dates on our calendars. But it is an opportunity to reflect on the past, present, and future. I can’t resist some attempted eloquence myself.

Shall I enjoy sharing some bygone troubles? (Did I just hear a collective groan?) Let’s understand the wisdom is not in sharing the troubles. The wisdom (and joy) is that those troubles are past! I’m typing this on a new laptop with the latest software versions.  I could, I’m sure, share a number of troubles I was having prior to this–some were amusing, all were frustrating. There were days when I was sure I was experiencing hell.

“You can’t do that unless you have the current version of Internet Explorer.”

“You can’t install the latest version of Internet Explorer unless you have Windows 7”

“You can’t install Windows 7 on your current machine because…”

Perhaps someday hell will be defined as having obsolete technology. I’m happy to report, however, that those troubles are “bygone,” at least for a few months until newer and better starts arriving. I’m told that three years is now about the maximum life expectancy of most technology.

For some reason, all this reminded me of the black-capped chickadees I enjoy watching at the feeder. Science tells us that these little wonders store (cache) food, but only remember the locations for about 28 days. And you thought you were having long-term memory problems? As I recall (I encountered this bit of information some years ago), the chickadees are constantly growing new brain cells and, of course, creating new memories.

It might be tempting to wish for the chickadee’s ability–imagine starting over with new memories every month or so? Talk about bygone troubles! “Hey, I’m going through hell right now but in 28 days I won’t remember it!”

The obvious problem is that you won’t remember the good times, either. But where would we be without the memories of our adversities? Perhaps it is time to remove some of the value judgements we quickly place on things that have happened, are happening, or may happen. There was one task I faced with the upgrades that I truly dreaded–partly because it had caused me great pain during past upgrades. I put it off until the last possible moment. My fingers shook a bit on the keys and mouse… but I did it without a hitch.

“Keep going…” is a great slogan for a new year. I think I’ll make it mine. So I suppose I can offer the traditional “Happy New Year” greeting… but my real wish for you is that you’ll keep going!

Happy What?

“To hear someone say ‘Happy Turkey Day’ makes me sad because they have nothing to be thankful for and no one to whom to be thankful.”

Robert Flatt

It’s that time of year again when the language police come out! I’ve already seen a few people crusading in favor of saying “Merry Christmas” and NOT saying “Happy Holidays.” (I’ve always conjured up this image of some one saying, “Peace on earth, goodwill to men… but don’t you dare say ‘Happy Holidays’ to me. I’m a CHRISTMAS and there’s nothing that irritates me more…”

Language is a funny thing.

Considering the above quote, Thanksgiving wishes may be next to come under attack. Personally, I don’t care too much what you wish me as long as it’s positive.

Happy People Day!

I’d like to think people come up with things like “Happy Turkey Day!” in an effort to be different–not because they have nothing to be thankful for. After all, how many times this week have you heard a traditional wish? A cheery wish for a happy turkey day seems reasonable. (Unless, of course, you’re the turkey.)

How about “Happy Pilgrim Day?” That’s different! I could whip out my language police badge and suggest that we really should say “days,” not “day.”  Afterall,  a lot of people have Thursday and Friday off. At least one version of the original celebration suggests that it was a three day harvest festival involving some fifty colonists and ninety indians.

My fear is that people are starting to think that Thanksgiving is scheduled to make it possible to start the Christmas Season. How great is it that we get a day or two off about a month before Christmas? That way we have some time to drag out the decorations, put up the tree, and do some serious shopping.

My wish for you? Have a happy harvest festival–a few days when the routines change just a little, but there’s an overriding celebration and sense of “harvest.” I hope you become acutely aware of the bounty–the things you have had, the things you have, the possibilities before you–not just for a few silent moments before dinner tomorrow, but for at least a few days.