I cannot resist sharing this email I received last night… and a little “secret” I have. Whenever I teach a Suicide Prevention Workshop, after I’ve packed up, I pause to look at the empty room and say, quietly to myself, “We may have saved a life tonight.”
No, we don’t always know the impact of what we say and do. But occasionally, something will happen that reminds us, “You’re doing good stuff.” This email is one of those somethings. I share it not to brag, but as a reminder of the importance to keep on doing “good stuff” and to point out that with emotional and mental issues, we shouldn’t just look for a crisis. We are supposed to connect and help each other all the time.
My husband and I are the proud parents of four kids – two young children and two teens.
Unfortunately, for the last year or so our daughter has been battling depression and an eating disorder. She’s been seeing a specialist for about six months now and is involved in lots of social activities, but she’s still having a hard time.
We really could use all the help we can get with her so I just wanted to thank you specifically for the information you’ve included on your [Suicide Prevention– 13 Reasons] page – the teen depression resources have been a huge help to us. In fact, our daughter watched 13 Reasons Why earlier this summer and I haven’t known how to talk to her about it so the link you included about the talking points has been great to reference as well.
To return the favor, I thought I would share another page that I found to be helpful http://onlinemph.unr.edu/mental-health-awareness-for-teens/ – this one talks about the importance of mental health awareness for teens which I thought could be a great addition to the resources you currently provide.
If it’s not too much trouble would you consider adding it to your page? I’m hoping that it will help others in similar situations and reduce the stress that comes with keeping our children safe.
Thanks again for the helpful information – enjoy your Labor Day weekend!
and my reply, in part:
Thank you so much for this email… Too often we approach suicide prevention and other mental health issues by waiting until there’s a crisis. I don’t see suicide prevention as only a matter of promoting a hotline–not that hotlines and crisis intervention aren’t important. But most mental health issues are a process, not an event. As you have said, “we really could use all the help we can get…” I think that is true for most of us–just in our daily lives. Obviously, it is even truer when there is an issue.
I’m glad to hear that your daughter is seeing a specialist… and that you are so actively involved in helping and supporting her. I’m not sure when you last visited the site, but I recently created a section on the resource page specific to high school and college students. I’m not sure how old your daughter is… but you might want to take a look at the booklet Starting the Conversation published by NAMI and the JED Foundation. While it is geared towards preparing for college emotionally, I suspect you could adapt some of the information and strategies to other ages. One of the things I particularly like about it is that it’s written to be used by parents and students together.
There are also some additional NAMI Resources geared to youth. If I can help you or your daughter find something specific, please let me know. As you surely know, it’s important that she feels connected (those social activities should be helping). There are some great TED Talks — a few are listed on my site — you might consider “pre-screening” some and then watching together. As for “13 Reasons Why,” it can be a tough conversation, but it is an important one. While I haven’t talked to a lot, the kids I’ve spoken with seem to have a good perspective on it. While much of what happens to Hannah seems real to them, most feel that the point of the series is dark entertainment and it does create an opportunity to start conversations. I think a value for parents is that it can help us understand and develop an appreciation for the stresses our kids are facing. I talked with one Mom who admitted she tried to watch the series and couldn’t–she found it too frightening and sad. I understand that, I think, but we also must face that which frightens us and makes us sad.
Thanks also for your suggested link. I took a quick look this morning and it does look like something I should include on the resource page. I’ll try to get it posted soon.
In taking care of your daughter, don’t forget to take care of yourself… I know that’s often said–to the point it seems obvious and perhaps trite. Take care of you! If you ever need an ear or a shoulder, do not hesitate to contact me… and I would love to hear how your daughter’s doing from time to time!