Category Archives: Amish Life

Stories, information, and lessons learned from the Amish and Mennonites.

Stress? What Stress?

I seem to recall describing Road Trip 2024 as a low-stress effort. Since the theory of relativity has also been mentioned, I should perhaps note that stress has value. In simplest terms, stress can increase performance and alertness. For more than a few hours yesterday (day one), I was very alert and performed well.

Nearly 400 miles of mostly Interstate Highway driving can become boring. It can also be exciting. I have never been a fan of I-495 in Massachusetts. There are simply too many cars (and trucks), and one accepts the idea that Interstate Highway is not synonymous with high-speed travel. In fact, one has an opportunity to consider how unskilled many drivers are when it comes to limited-access highway driving. The concepts of yielding when entering and choosing lanes based on speed seem to escape many.

As luck would have it, we ended up traveling through Hartford, Connecticut, during the beginning of evening rush hour. There isn’t a word to describe it. “Organized chaos” doesn’t do it justice.”

We noted the fact that the roadsides leaving the city are replete with huge billboards, most advertising personal injury attorneys. There might be a connection between those signs and the way traffic moves. In addition to the lack of yielding and unskilled lane changes, we also experienced drag racing. If several cars leave more than a car length between them, you get treated to watching other cars weave through the traffic at double the average rate of speed by taking advantage of those openings. And motorcycles! A car length is not required.

We took some relief in the fact that we weren’t traveling in a small vehicle, although we experienced a shot of adrenalin when a larger truck towing a trailer decided to move left, the trailer missing the front of our neighbor’s car by literally inches. This happened during a few moments of relatively high-speed travel. Seconds later, when our rate of travel dropped to almost zero, we noticed our neighbor hung back and left several car lengths between her and the truck/trailer. I suspect she was relieved when someone filled it.

We survived unscathed.

Maybe. Some research has suggested that stress actually encourages the growth of neurons and stem cells, improving memory.1 Maybe we were scathed, but in a positive way.

We’ve traveled this route before. When we leave here, we often stay off the highway for a few dozen miles, poking along at a more leisurely pace until we cross the Hudson River.

This trip is about finding balance. So is life.


  1. The Surprising Benefits of Stress by Peter Jaret, UC Berkley ↩︎

And Four to Go!

It’s just about a half-mile from our house to the paved road. As we settle in our seats, that half-mile is an opportunity for us to clear our heads and remember something we either forgot or didn’t do. At the risk of bragging, we rarely find it necessary to turn around and go back.

Our first break will likely be in Gardiner, where we’ll recycle some coffee. Following the wisdom of serious road trippers, our first day is our most ambitious with a goal of Danbury, CT. It’s all familiar territory, and if we get an early start, the traffic on 495 should be tolerable. Note that we didn’t plan to leave Maine on Sunday.

Are we ready? A common answer is, “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” So there might be a theory of relativity on readiness. I just remembered a few minutes ago that I need to pump up the EZ Pass. I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was! (Yes, it does so automatically. But depending on technology is not without hazards. A few years ago, I went through two tolls close together. The balance ran out after the first one, and I didn’t have time to replenish before the second. A $2 toll became $30.)

Have we left? Well, not physically. But in our minds…

So many things are relative. That might mean there are more processes than events, and that’s worth considering.

Many years ago, I attended Berkshire Community College. The first president, Tom O’Connell, was justifiably proud of our motto. “To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive.” I remember him talking about it during a “President’s Hour.” I think he planted the seeds of my belief that life is an “unfinishedness.” For that matter, arriving may be relative as well. While planning and goals are important, we live in present moments.

Simple. This trip started months ago. When will it end? Maybe, in the truest sense, it won’t. Those present moments create change.

This portion of life’s journey begins with rereading “The Brook” by Alfred Lord Tennyson.

And out again I curve and flow
To join the brimming river,
For men may come and men may go,
But I go on for ever.

Three to Get Ready

I am rarely accused of being a spontaneous person. Bring on the spreadsheets and checklists! I like to think it makes me handy to have around. But I also have to be cautious that I’m not thinking so far ahead I forget what I’m doing today.

Since Road Trip 2024 is supposed to be about simplicity and tradition, it should also be “low-stress.” I’ve been working on what I call “positive apathy,” which I define (simply) as zero-based caring. It’s sort of like zero-based budgeting. You start with nothing (no worries) and selectively decide what to add. It helps to see it as having a worry box that is of limited size. You can only put so much in it.

There’s a lot of apathy these days, but who cares?”

“Mr. Boomsma”

Knowing the Amish has helped with this. They tend to be selective and deliberate. While we are worried that we don’t have the latest technology, the Amish think about whether or not it contributes to their lifestyle. I wonder how they pack and decide what to bring when they go on vacation? I may have to ask about that!

In my days as a road warrior, I was a bit of a minimalist but also thorough. I tend to be attracted to the travel size section in stores. While getting ready for this trip, I realized I’m still using the same toiletry bag I used decades ago. Back then, my goal was “what’s the smallest size suitcase I can get away with?” and I never checked luggage. Today, I remember our financial planner’s wisdom. “At this point in your life, the two most important words are comfort and fun.”

Ram is packed and ready!
There are still a few nooks and crannies–one more bag to go!

The Ram 1500 with a cap affords a lot of opportunity to carry creature comforts. Totes are my friends. Age is not. In anticipation of this trip I bought a pill box that accommodates thirty days worth. A separate Ziplock bag carries the “just in case” stuff. My toiletry bag now goes in a bigger bag.

And I remind myself that I’m a problem-solver. Running out of shaving cream won’t constitute a crisis. (Did you know that shampoo or conditioner works for shaving in a pinch?)

“Getting ready” includes a bit more abstract mental preparation. It might be more important than packing enough shaving crema. In the past, when we’d rush around to pack and take care of things before leaving, I’d joke, “We have to hurry up so we can slow down and relax!”

It’s funny but also wrong, really. Steven Covey says, “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” A schedule is a bit like the worry box–you can only fit so much in it. My Amish friend Rachel has it figured out.

We leave tomorrow morning. I like that deadline! The truck will be pretty full. The worry box is almost empty. The schedule is relaxed and leisurely.

Two for the Show!

In the previous post, I mentioned the possibility of “coincidence or Karma” influencing some of our decisions. We were initially planning a “Road Trip 2025.” How that became “Road Trip 2024” might be a matter of coincidence or Karma.

My uncle was a dairy farmer. I blame him for my interest and love of all things cow. As a kid, I “helped” put up hay bales (rode on the baler), stood in the silo while it rained silage, helped with the milking… Our only difference was that he loved to watch horse pulling at fairs. I prefer ox draws. The competition is fun, but I just enjoy watching a good team being driven by a skilled teamster. Somewhere along the way, I realized I’d love to be “in the pit” and closer to the oxen.

For the uninitiated, an ox (singular) is a bovine trained and used as a draft animal. They are usually castrated bulls and fairly docile and safe to work with and are best trained starting as calves. The vocabulary is potentially confusing. In simple terms, oxen are castrated mature males. Cows are mature females that have been bred.

“The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.”

Ogden Nash

I stumbled on to the Tillers International Website and learned they offer workshops (“hands on”) teaching how to train and drive oxen. It took some rationalizing, but I signed up, at first thinking it might be one of the most useless things I’ve done. It didn’t take long for this to morph into Road Trip 2024–visiting simplicity and tradition. The trip will include some time with Amish Communities and serve as research for a book on hope to write.

For a preview of “the show,” I can offer this video of a previous workshop held in June, 2024.

Can’t wait to smell some hay!

We’ll also spend a week in Holmes County, Ohio where the Amish flourish, visit a young Mennonite Friend in Indiana, and see some Amish friends in Pennysylvania. Three to get ready!

Weird But Happy Hearts

“Don’t ever be ashamed of loving the strange things that make your weird little heart happy.”

Elizabeth Gilbert

I suppose it goes with the territory of “aging,” but for some reason, this past week, I noticed some strange things that make me happy. One was stumbling onto Elizabeth’s quote and realizing my heart is weird.

One thing that’s making me happy is my email inbox is approaching a record low of under 100 emails. The delete button is showing signs of wear. That also makes me happy.

Late yesterday afternoon I went to Nightengale’s Dairy to pick up milk. I always stop to say “thanks” to the girls and scratch the interested ones behind the ears and under the chin. Seeing them look expectantly at the truck when I drive in makes me happy. I like to think seeing the truck makes them happy.

If I seem a bit obsessed with bovines, I can offer “We’re Already Here” as an explanation that a summer road trip to Michigan includes a four-day commitment to learning how to train and drive a team of oxen. That will make my weird little heart happy.

Speaking of cows, my Amish friend Rachel in Pennsylvania made a sign for us: “Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy cows. Cows give milk. Ice cream is made from milk. Ice cream makes me happy.” We gifted it to a friend who loves cows even more than I do, but I think I love ice cream more than she does.

And speaking of Amish, I love my occasional visits with my Swartzentruber friends in Corinth. During a recent stop, the boys and I compared suspenders. It started when they found mine with clips fascinating (weird?). It became a bit of a “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” Their suspenders come from a harness maker, are made from leather, and button inside their trousers. That we can share our differences makes my weird little heart happy.

The oldest boy just finished his first year of school, so he now speaks English well, although his Mom had to help us with the word horse–“paard” in Pennsylvania Dutch. I like to think we are learning to celebrate–to love–our sometimes strange differences.

After all, we don’t all love the same kind of ice cream.