One of the more “touristy” things we did while in Canada was to visit the Alexander Graham Bell Museum in Baddeck, Nova Scotia. For the record, it’s a beautiful and extremely educational spot. When we entered the building and approached the ticket desk, a tour member slipped in front of us to approach the bright and chipper “ranger” (the museum is a provincial park). She began peppering Ranger Rachel (not her real name) with questions, requests, and observations that bordered on demands.

Ranger Rachel kept her composure throughout even while it was apparent that Terry Tourist was, for the most part, not really listening and unlikely to be satisfied with anything Ranger Rachel said or did. Since we were on vacation and in no real hurry I attempted to see the humor in it. When Terry Tourist ran out of steam and left, I approached the counter wearing my best international diplomatic smile.

Allowing her body to noticeably relax, Ranger Rachel sighed, “Why is everyone so angry this morning?” My guard was down and I said, truly without thinking, “I’ll bet you’ve dealt mostly with Americans today.” To her diplomatic credit, she didn’t confirm or deny my suspicion. We did, however, briefly discuss attitudes in general and tourists in particular.

It wasn’t until later I realized my spontaneous response reflected an almost unconscious observation I’d been recording. We encountered a lot less anger in Canada, at least among Canadians. And with the possible exception of Terry Tourist, it seemed to be contagious. It’s hard to be angry with someone who is smiling and being nice. Or at least it should be.

Sure, it was a vacation and I was probably wearing my rose-tinted (not as strong as rose-colored) glasses. But I’m convinced Canada–at least in the provinces we were in–is a happier and more relaxed place. Heck, even the Canadian Facebook Groups and Pages I visited and interacted with were friendly and peaceful. (Conversely, when I posted a photo on my timeline of a Canadian Ale I found quite tasty it didn’t take long for a comment to appear stating that all beer is rotten stuff, etc. and implying that I was encouraging people to ruin their lives.)

I don’t doubt for a minute that something in the commenter’s past influenced his thinking. But I am struggling with why he’s so angry because that anger will have a greater negative effect on him than a pint of Canadian Ale. I was tempted to reply, “Don’t worry, I won’t buy you one.” I suspect he would not have seen the humor in that.

So I guess I’m sorry that I don’t have an answer to Ranger Rachel’s question. Why are we so angry?

I do think part of the answer lies in society’s tendency to engage in victim-thinking. Politically and personally, we think it’s easy to blame someone or something for any unhappiness or difficulties that come our way. Lots of energy goes into figuring out who to blame that might be better spent figuring out how to solve the problem.

From victimhood, it’s not a big leap to feeling everyone and everything is against us. Once we’re there, it becomes very easy to feel abused and hopeless. Sometimes when we’ve had enough, we become vicious in word and, potentially in action. That viciousness can be directed towards ourselves as well as others.

Eleanor Roosevelt in This Is My Story observed, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I think she’d agree that “No one can make you feel angry without your consent.” There is no logical reason for us to be victimized by our feelings. How we choose to respond to situations and people is well within our realm of choices. Anger is not the only option.

Knowing that, you aren’t mad are you?