Category Archives: Personal Growth

Memorial Day–Not About Loss

Bethanie and I preparing for Memorial Day

Bethanie and I preparing for Memorial Day some forty years ago.

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.”

L. M. Montgomery

For me, Memorial Day is always a day of reflection and tradition. Unfortunately, one tradition has been lost because of distance. And yet it has not been lost because of memory.

Some of my most vivid childhood memories center on this day. I remember multiple trips to the cemetery with my father. We would retrieve the flag holder from his father’s grave for wire brushing and a fresh coat of paint before the new flags were placed. I felt a special sense of pride that Grandfather had two flags–British and American, although I didn’t fully understand why.

Of course there was grass to trim and flowers to plant. We also had to go to the Legion Hall because there were rifles to clean and ready. Dad led the honor guard and he strove for perfection. To this day, I long to hear “one shot” when the volley is fired. After all these years, I consider myself fortunate that I can still remember those days when the whole town turned out to follow the parade. I wish we still did that.

I was five my Dad was laid to rest next to his father. When old enough I accepted the responsibility for maintaining the family plot. For a while I was able to share it with my daughter Bethanie. Time has passed. Life has happened. And while I miss actually making those preparations I am pleased they are not lost.

Today is a day for remembering and there is much to remember. I’ll be at our town parade. Most of these parades get a little shorter every year. The news reports that one town in Massachusetts will not have a parade, “There aren’t enough veterans.” But in my mind I’ll see an endless line of veterans marching. They are not lost. I’ll probably get a lump in my throat when taps are played.  But I’ll smile when I remember that the term “taps”   originates from the Dutch term taptoe, meaning “close the beer taps and send the troops back to camp.”

Remembering and reflecting does not have to be about loss. “Nothing is ever really lost as long as we remember it.”

Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the sky
All is well, safely rest
God is nigh.
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar, drawing near
Falls the night.
Thanks and praise for our days
Neath the sun, neath the stars, neath the sky
As we go, this we know
God is nigh.

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Landing a job after graduation…

Jack F (519x346)Seems like lately I’ve been getting questions about the job search process… well, it is that time of year! Has the process really changed?

Here’s a link to a ninety second piece featuring friend and colleague Jack Falvey–Landing a job after graduation. One of my favorite quotes is “Smart phones make people stupid.” You’ll also be interested in what Jack describes as the most important factor for the first job after college.

When it comes to the business of finding a job after college, Jack wrote the book and it’s good stuff.

That’s one reason I’m honored he wrote the “back cover blurb” for Small People – Big Brains. He thinks it’s good stuff!

 

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The Book Is Out!

Book LogoI’m not sure if it has seemed as long to you as it has to me… Friday was an exciting day here! The final proof copy of “Small People – Big Brains” arrived here! And now, it’s available and on the market.

A few folks have had a preview both for review and proofreading. Jack Falvey, frequent contributor to the Wall Street Journal and Barron’s, had this to say:

“This is a light fast read until it isn’t, and then you stop and read a sentence or a thought a couple of times… you will enjoy these classic and classy observations on the art and science of learning…”

In the pages of this “collection of stories about simplicity, exploration and wonder,” you’ll meet a second grader who becomes quite certain Mr. Boomsma is ignorant of the basic facts of life. How the young student handles this delicate situation is a lesson it tact that many adults should learn. You’ll also encounter a nine-year old who thinks he’s “an excellent reader and extremely smart ” until he’s forced to consider that being smart is about knowing what he doesn’t know.

The title of the book comes from an encounter with a young fellow who was firmly convinced that his difficulties at school were the result of his brain being too small. The stories, however, prove that these small people really do have big brains. They just haven’t always discovered and fully learned how to use them yet.

For more information and to order from Amazon. Also available on Kindle!

For more information and to order from Barnes & Noble. Not confirmed, but also should be available on Nook!

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Old Enough To Dance?

I can dance!

I can dance!

The kids do make me think. While substituting in a first grade classroom, we had a special guest whose presentation included a pretty cool rock video of choreographed exercise. It took a few minutes to get everyone in position with their “space bubble” around them so they weren’t interfering with each others’ moves. During that set up one of the kids asked, “Mr. Boomsma, are you old enough to dance?”

My knee-jerk reaction to his question was a chuckle that he’d asked it wrong. What he really meant to ask was, “Mr. Boomsma, are you too old to dance?” Because we were busy I just redirected his attention to the task at hand. “Spread your arms and make sure you’re not touching a neighbor… turn around in a circle…”

Unfortunately it wasn’t until later that I realized I should have asked him about his question. Maybe he meant exactly what he asked and I was the one who was wrong. His original question doesn’t make sense, you say? Why would he think I wasn’t old enough to dance? Well I, for one, will never presume to immediately understand another person’s thought process–particularly a child’s. They tend to be literal but they also tend to be free thinking.

But here’s the thing. In retrospect, the question I thought he meant to ask doesn’t make much sense either. Other than my gray hair, what basis is there for wondering if I’m too old to dance? I’ve occasionally joked that I can still do the things I did when I was young, it just takes me longer. Another variation of that joke is that I can still do the things I did when I was young, just not for as long.

Perhaps my young friend doesn’t carry that baggage with him. At least not yet. As a society, we will mold him and make sure he operates with assumptions, biases and prejudices he may not even be aware he has. Sometimes we do it unconsciously. The process brings to mind the fictional Borg collective from Star Trek. “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”

When the video started the kids were mesmerized and I stood back to watch. While I don’t focus on regrets, I do have one from that day.  I should have got right in the middle, created my space bubble, and danced with them. Not only would I have had fun, but I wouldn’t be sitting here wondering if I unintentionally contributed to a perception regarding age that isn’t accurate. There is no age limit on dancing–you can’t be too old and you can’t be too young.

And it’s not just about dancing. It might actually be about everything. Why don’t we wake up every morning wondering what we want to be, what we want to learn, and what we want to do? Why do we wake up tired and then remind ourselves we’re not getting any younger?

In some ways, we can get younger. We can think like a kid–with their freedom of thought and their possibility thinking. I love hearing a kid’s question that starts with, “Mr. Boomsma, what would happen if…”

How easy it is to forget a simple truth: if we truly want to do something, our passion for it opens doors and makes things possible. Some things require practice and there’s a need to balance passion and patience. How ironic is it that I consider an important part of my job in the classroom is convincing kids they CAN do things but I stood on the sideline and missed the fun. What would happen if we just tried a lot more things? What would happen if we put on some music…

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Just How Busy Are You?

“Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing.

–Adolphe Monod

climbing_up_folders_400_clr_9727Lately I seem to be hearing a lot of people complaining about how busy they are. I’m probably guilty myself. I can whine with the best of them–I have plenty of opportunities to learn the skill from the kids at school.

When I was actively involved in human resource consulting, one of the phenomena we often discussed was something called “ritualistic complaining.” In short, ritualistic complaining happens when individuals complain somewhat automatically–without deliberate thought– because it’s an unstated expectation. To watch it happen, get ten people together and ask them about their job. The majority are not likely to announce their job is wonderful, fulfilling and pays great. The societal norm is quite the contrary and we are left rightfully wondering if the complaints we are hearing are, in fact, accurate. Managers need to learn to ignore ritualistic complaining.

Since I’ve yet to discover an objective scale for measuring busy, let’s set the question of how busy we are aside for a moment. A better question might be “what are we accomplishing and are we having fun?” See, I happen to think that “being busy” can be addictive–it’s easy to forget that we make choices. While a little ritualistic complaining about how busy we are is probably okay, unless we’ve totally given up control of our lives and schedule there’s no logic to complaining about the choices we make to do or not do things.

The concern always should be that it’s easy to substitute activity (being busy) with accomplishment. I know at least one person who tries to attend as many community meetings as possible. This allows her to report how busy she is in the hope people will assume she’s accomplishing great things for all the organizations she claims to be working with. I also chuckle over the number of people who apologize for failing to get things done because they haven’t had time. A quick check of Facebook reveals they’ve spent most of the morning posting inspirational messages and pictures of cute puppies and kittens. In what must be the ultimate irony, I recently had some frustration with some folks who were too busy to reply that they were too busy to help with a project!

But let’s not forget; that claiming ”busy” is one’s right. I just wish we could be honest–if not with others, at least with ourselves. While I have difficulty feeling sympathy for someone who is busy, I do regret that he or she has given up control of time and purpose.

One person I often work with IS busy by my standard. If I email her at 5 AM I can pretty much guarantee I’ll get an immediate reply–we both start our days early. She always walks rapidly with purpose in her step, rarely complains about being busy and I do not ever recall asking her if she’s “got a minute?” and hearing her say no because she’s too busy. She is not the victim of her schedule; she makes choices and accepts that she has.

We may not like admitting it, but when all is said and done, we tend to become victims of ourselves and our choices. One thing that separates us from the lower life forms is our ability to rationalize, but it’s both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing when we use it to manage our time and purpose. It’s a curse when we use that ability to rationalize our choices and our failures because it diminishes the power we have available to us.

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They Are All Winners!

l-r: Mrs. Daniels, Jemyni True, Macee Pearl, Mr. Boomsma, Melissa Burdin

l-r: Mrs. Daniels, Jemyni True, Macee Pearl, Mr. Boomsma, Melissa Burdin

On Friday, March 22, Piscataquis Community Elementary School fifth graders learned the winners of the Newspapers in Education Contest during which they were challenged to create an advertisement for the book ”Small People; Big Brains.” Perhaps the even bigger challenge was selecting an ad to publish from the many submissions. Judges finally settled on three finalist ads: first place by Melissa Burdin, second by Macee Pearl, and third by Jemyni True. Each student received a certificate of accomplishment and art kit to encourage the development of their skills.Art Teacher Mrs. Daniels received special recognition for her support of the Newspapers in Education program and this special project:

For your constant understanding and for always being there,

To tell them they can do it and to show them that you care!

Principal Mrs. Orton wondered with the group “if we can expect Mr. Boomsma to write a book every year so get this opportunity again…”

There’s never a lack of stories and inspiration from these kids, but I’m not sure I can keep up! Walking down the hall just yesterday a Kindergartner informed me, “I go to school here and my dad coaches one of the teams here… is that weird?” I tried to assure him it was anything but… adults and children can attend the same school and learn from each other. These people may be small, but they often have really big brains.

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Small Brains Do Big Job!

We have a winner! Actually we could LOTS of winners. In conjunction with the Newspapers in Education initiative and with the cooperation of Jane Daniels, art teacher at PCES, I commissioned the fifth graders to develop an advertisment for my forthcoming book, Small People – Big Brains: Stories about Simplicity, Exploration, and Wonder. The kids did an incredible job and made selecting the first place winner difficult for the judges! After much deliberation, one ad was selected for printing in the March 27th Newspapers in Education Supplement of the Piscataquis Observer.

The entire project is proving to be great fun! I may have to write another book before next year so we can do it again! We’ll be announcing the winner next Friday at school which means the kids will finally stop hounding me when I’m there!

As for the book itself, it’s in the final editing and illustrating stages. Then comes proofing and cover design. I confess I’m a little behind schedule, but still hoping for an April release date!

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One Human Interaction at a Time…

I already know the problem you’ll have after watching this video. You’ll think you can’t do it. But if you listen all the way to the end, you’ll hear the key and discover that you actually can. Let me explain.

Dave Eggers is an incredibly passionate, creative, and energetic guy. I don’t want to spoil this video, but you should know his day job involves writing. ”Once upon a school” is spoken, but it’s an incredible story with some both inspiring and funny examples of what happens when you create a mixture that includes passion, kids and learning.

For a few years now, I’ve considered myself a bit of advocate for kids, teachers, and schools. This guy could become my hero because he’s done something that’s all too rare. He’s created a wildly successful (and fairly large) program without losing sight of the most important truth. Ultimately, the most effective advocacy is about one human interaction at a time. 

So watch this, but don’t leave it thinking you can’t do it or that you are inadequate. Figure out some way — not necessarily as big and bold as Egger’s — to get together with a kid and have one human interaction.

There’s an incredibly important statistic early on in the video–studies have shown that just 30-40 hours per year of individual attention and instruction can advance a student one grade level. You don’t have to be real good at math. Three hours per month does it. Spend it listening to and encouraging a kid–your own or somebody else’s.

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Pre-publication Announcement

Coming in Spring 2013!

Small People; Big Brains – a collection of stories about simplicity, wonder and exploration by “Mr. Boomsma”… Sign up for an email announcement of the date this entertaining and inspiring book making the point that while we are trying to teach kids about life, they can show us how to live.

Registering creates no obligation–just an opportunity!

WB-First Burdin

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Ten Mindful Minutes

Here’s an enjoyable way to spend ten minutes learning how to spend ten minutes that are “mindful” of the present moment. You’ll enjoy both!

I seem to be having trouble getting this video to embed, so here is the link:

 http://www.ted.com/talks/andy_puddicombe_all_it_takes_is_10_mindful_minutes.html

 

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